Friday, January 1, 2010

A New Decade

A couple of you may have noticed that I've stopped posting regularly. There are a lot of reasons for that, but I think the main one is that on Oct. 22nd, my husband was laid off from his job. You know, the one for which we packed up and moved to Colorado. He was working for a non-profit, and like so many other things we can blame on the economy, their funding was pulled. There were 13 people working in his office, and I believe nine of them were let go.

Since then, I just haven't really had the motivation to write anything. There's been a small post here and there, but other than that, bupkus. I think I like to try and be funny most of the time, and honestly? Not much around here has been funny recently. We're now living on two unemployment paychecks, mine and his, and a part time pizza delivery job. Don't get me wrong, we're luckier than most. Colorado's unemployment payments are, thankfully, much larger than Arizona's. We had a nice Christmas and my whole family was here. We've had to cut back, but the house payment is being made, most of the rest of the bills are being paid, and no one is going hungry. I'm well aware that it could be much worse.

I've been trying to think of ways to get myself back into writing. I thought about trying to do a project 365, but I seriously doubt that I'd take a picture and post every single day. It's a nice idea, but I just can't see it. I could try. It'd probably last four days. Or two.

The title of this post is "A New Decade." Not only a new year, but a new span of 10 years. They're going fast. It's hard to believe that by the time this new decade is over, I'll be in my 50's, and getting ready for my youngest to graduate from high school. She's in first grade now. If I've done the math right, she'll be in the class of 2021. That seems far away now, but I'm going to blink my eyes and I'll be buying her cap and gown.

Life is too short to be depressed and anxious all the time. Yes, I've gone to a doctor, and gotten some meds. Actually, I did that about three weeks before the husband was laid off, because the anxiety I've lived with all my life had reached an unbearable level. Because I'd been on Lexapro for three weeks before he lost his job, I didn't completely freak out. But something is happening now, because I'm starting to feel more like I did before I started on the meds. Not completely, but ... well, maybe it was just the holidays and all.

In any case, I'm going to try carrying my camera around with me, and seeing what happens. I doubt I'll post every day, but I'm going to try and look for the good, the positive, and the beautiful things around me. I'm thinking that might help my mood.

When my sister-in-law, brother and niece left on Wednesday, they left me a nice card and $50, to help with "the toiletries they used." Which was unnecessary, but really nice of her. Let me mention here that they do not know, and neither do my parents, that my husband is out of work. I didn't tell my parents because my dad has my lifelong anxiety issues times ten, and I don't want him worrying about us. And he won't take meds because, you know, he doesn't have a problem.

Anyway, we took the $50 and went to Target today. We picked up some necessities, then we hit the 75% off Christmas clearance stuff.

Kylie found this, and she had to have it:

Did we need it? Nope. But it's cute and festive, and I'll forget all about it when I pack it away with the other Christmas stuff. Next year when I get out the Christmas stuff, I'll be pleasantly surprised by some new, cute little ornaments, a new ribbon for my wreath, and this little wire tree with glitter and bells. I know it's symbolic in some way, I'm just not quite sure how. I look at it, and I see hope. Peace. And the joy of the child that picked it out.

Ok, me out here. I need a hand up, and I know you've got it in you.


Mary~Momathon said...

I'm so sorry your family has been smacked so harshly by this failing economy!

I am very glad you will be posting again. I miss reading about your middle daughter's drama.

Mary~Momathon said...

One more thought occurred to me....

Aren't you glad you aren't pregnant!

Joann Mannix said...

I'm so sorry. I wish for you a year full of promise and better things. Stay strong.

Anonymous said...

This economy has been so brutal to so many people who don't deserve it. I hope 2010 is much, much better to you! I love your picture idea - I hope it helps you to stay positive!

Dawn in Austin said...

I'm sorry to hear that, after you moved all the way out there. You are blessed that you have a warm and caring family. That will be what helps bring good things your way this year/decade.

I'm glad you're back. I thought about you while I was in Phoenix last week and the temps were mid 70s. Nice.

Fannie said...

Oh my, I'm so sorry! And I feel you. It's hard to put on a good face all the time. When I finally gave in and allowed myself to be medicated 24/7/365 it really DID help, so good for you!