Thursday, December 6, 2007

If You Give a Mom a Margarita

With my humblest apologies to Laura Joffe Numeroff, the author of the wonderful book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

If You Give a Mom a Margarita

If you give a mom a margarita,

She’s going to ask for some chips.

When you give her the chips, she’ll probably ask for some salsa.

When she’s finished with her drink, she’ll ask for a refill.

Then she’ll want to go to the bathroom, because tequila makes you have to pee.

When she looks in the bathroom mirror, she’ll probably notice that her makeup is wearing off, and ask you for a compact.

When she’s done fixing her makeup, she’ll head back to the table. She’ll sit down and finish her second margarita, then decide that the table needs a round of tequila shots.

She’ll ask the waiter for some salt and limes.

Her best friend will offer to buy the next round. The mom will offer to lick the salt off the bartender’s shoulder.

She’ll probably ask the guy at the next table to dance. When she sees him dance, she’ll get so excited that she’ll do a dance of her own.

She will order a third round of shots, and dance some more. On the tables.

When the dance is finished, she’ll want a pen to write his phone number on her arm.

Then she’s going to want to go home and pass out, so she’ll need...a designated driver.

Thinking about going home is going to remind her that there are kids at home, and she’ll order another margarita.

And chances are, if she has another margarita, she’s going to want a tequila shot to go with it.


Manic Mom said...

OMG! Love it!!!! So much better than the If You Give a Mouse a Cookie BS!

I think you need to consider writing a series of these for MOMS!

Fannie Mae said...

SOOOO prefer your version!

Anonymous said...

Cute! :p


onthegomom said...

I love your version!

I think I was getting a hangover just reading your story!

Jenifer said...

Now that is funny!