Sunday, December 9, 2007

The Dog Just Puked Orange Frosting

What does the title have to do with this post? Not much really, except that yesterday when I was in kind of a foul mood, I thought of two blog post titles that made me laugh. "The Dog Just Puked Orange Frosting" was one of them, and the other one was "That Stuff is Worse Than Government Cheese!"

Unfortunately, I think the titles are funnier than either of the stories that went along with them. As far as the title of this particular post, Shannon and Kylie decided to make sugar cookies yesterday, and they found some orange frosting that I bought at Target on clearance after Halloween. I can't ever pass up stuff that's 90% off, even if it is orange frosting. Unfortunately, somehow the dog got a hold of some of the said frosting, and hence the title.

I was going to make this post about the lighted boat parade we went to last night. We have a man-made lake in the middle of town here, and every year they have a bunch of people that light up their boats with hordes of Christmas lights and drive them down the lake. It's actually pretty cool. But, I'll have to do that one tomorrow, because I left the pictures I took last night at work.

So, today's topic is what I think is the best thing about being the mother of teenaged daughters. I'm pluralizing this now, because Shannon will be 13 in one month, and I need practice saying I have two teenagers without fainting, or overdosing on Xanax.

There are some fun things about being the mother of teenaged girls. You can share some inside jokes, you can actually (sometimes) have meaningful and heart-warming conversations with them. We like some of the same music. Danni and I both think Johnny Depp and Matthew McConaughey are hot. Right now, Shannon is reading The Outsiders for English class, and I'm enjoying reliving that. Did you all realize that Patrick Swayze is FIFTY FIVE years old?? We were watching the movie, and Shannon said "THAT'S Tom Cruise???" Hee. They also both commented on how cute Rob Lowe was. I was thinking, "You should see him in St. Elmo's Fire!" *drool*

Where was I?

Oh yes, the best thing. There are all those nice things, and then there's this:
When they are being hormonal, on the rag (well, not Shannon on that one yet), having little spats with their friends, or otherwise just going through normal teenage stuff (mainly being hormonal though), guess who gets to take the brunt of the snippy little comments muttered under the breath, the snotty attitude, the comments that sound as if they're about to bite your head off, and then the insistance that NOTHING IS WRONG???? Oh yeah, it's Mom. Remember me? The one who carried you in my body for 9 months, and then had you unceremoniously and surgically ripped from my womb? Fed you at 1am, 3am and 5am, changed umpteen diapers, and kissed all your boo-boos better? Yeah, that's me. I love being treated as if I've done something wrong when I've done nothing, and in fact was gone at work until 2:30pm. They don't snip and snarl at their dad like they do me. Did I mention I've done absolutely nothing to deserve this? Things you have no control over somehow become your fault. And if you dare say something like,

"Um, it's not my fault that ___________" (fill in your own little teenage angsty problem here), they become extremely indignant and begin sniping away:

"I didn't SAY it was your fault!!! Did I SAY it was your fault?? Stop ACCUSING ME of things!!! GOD!!!" Stomp stomp stomp stomp SLAM!!

No, it's not constant or even frequent. But those few days once a month are more than enough. Wow, I can't wait until BOTH of them have their periods. Maybe they'll even do it at the same time. Doesn't that sound fun?

Hey Honey? Anytime you'd like to step in here, I'd be glad to clean up the orange frosting barf.


onthegomom said...

You lost me after Rob Lowe and St. Elmo's Fire ::drooling all over myself::

I have 2 teenage boys (almost 18 and 14) and they are all hormonal and stuff but with NO it's just random, without warning and ALL the friggin' time!!!!

Lish said...

Have you seen Rob Lowe in Brothers and Sisters? The man has definately improved with age...even if he's playing a Republican! ;)

Yep, have to sweet little boy (the 12 year old) has turned into a mouthy, lippy, "I'm always right and I'll argue 'til my death!" something-something. I've even asked him if he was going to start HIS period soon!

Shelley said...

On The Go - I'm glad it's not just the girls, I wouldn't want all you moms of boys to be left out of this wonderful teenage CRAP. Hee.

Lish - I haven't seen Brothers and Sisters, but my friend Jen has been raving about it, and I'm definitely going to check it out online. Especially if Rob Lowe is in it!!