Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Houston, We Have a Problem

You all know this book, right? If you have kids, you must have heard of it. I remember when it first came out, there was this big uproar over the word "fart." Like we all don't do it. Well, except me.

We have a new problem in the house, and let's just say I've thought of an alternate title to the above book.

For the past few nights, a dog has been...passing gas in our house. And this is not just any gas, but cringe-inducing, room-clearing, nauseating gas.

At first, I blamed Luke. Surely it must be the new dog, because Bo has never had this problem in the past. I've lived with this dog for the past nine years, and as God is my witness, I have never smelled this smell before.

However, last night, it became clear which dog was the culprit. Mainly because I nearly passed out from the smell, when Bo was right under the table, and Luke was outside. Obviously, I wasn't going to be able to blame this one on the puppy.

So, help me out here. He is eating the exact same food he has always eaten, so I know it's not the food. Steve says maybe it's all the exercise he's getting now, what with all the running around and playing with his new brother. Ok, exercise makes you fart? I wasn't aware of this. Which shows you how much exercise I get. Any of you exercisers out there, is this true?

Is it the altitude, the water, age, something new in the yard, stinkweed, or perhaps the little-known fartweed? Whatever it is, it needs to stop. Change. Something. Or I'm going to lose my dinner.

Does anyone else have a dog with this problem? Is there anything you can do about it? Like a natural remedy, like you put oil in their food for a shiny coat? What do you do about rancid-smelling SBDs from your dog? And please don't say you just live with it. I don't think I can.


Anonymous said...

ok...now you can be be back to the land of funny. OMG...my sides hurt!!! Especially w/ the pasting Bo's head on the book cover. This is one of the funniest posts in ages.

Fannie said...

No ideas but maybe you should call the vet. When the Terrorist was a puppy she started eating her own poop. The vet gave her a pill that, I guess, made her poop taste like shit (I crack myself up!) and she stopped. Maybe there's some sort of dog "Beano" out there?

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Could it be that Bo is eating his food faster because of the puppy (like they are 'competing' for food)? My old poodle wolfed her food down for a while when we got our puppy and had pretty stinky farts, but once she had her own 'dining room' (read: the closet), it stopped. Doesn't hurt to talk to the vet, though, as they have some charcoal-type pills that might help.

Good luck!

Lori said...

I have no idea how to help you, but I loooooooove the book cover you created! That is awesome! I should do that with our doggie's pic!!

Dawn in Austin said...

I have a bulldog. They fart.

I feel your pain.
It really could be the exercise and also age. Old dogs fart.
Sorry I could't be more helpful.

Love the new book cover!!!

Kugo said...

Okay, sometimes when our dog, Max, farts I have to check his butt to make sure he didn't accidentally poop. It smells so bad, my eyes water. Thank goodness I love him so much.

I don't fart either. I lightly pass little love clouds and they smell sweet. Don't ask my husband, you'll just have to take my word for it.

Hilarious book cover!

onthegomom said...

I have no advice... but oh my gawd, was the new book cover hilarious! LMAO. Thanks for that :)

Jen said...

It is 4:24 am and I am laughing way to hard. I might wake someone up and then I will be mad. Reading all the comments, I agree with any of them. Tell us how it all works out.