Wednesday, January 23, 2008

It's Wednesday, But It's Not Wordless

I knew exactly the picture I was going to use for Wordless Wednesday. I wanted to show Kylie's new favorite method of transportation from the upstairs to the downstairs, which is sliding down the banister. However, I've yet to take this picture.

I was at Target this morning... It just occurred to me how many days I could start a post like that. A lot. Anyhoo, I was at Target this morning, because two bullying friends of mine forced me to go and shop with them. Ok, that's not exactly true. It was more like a text from Jen:

"I'm meeting K at Target, want to come?"

Me, texting back:


Because I'm all about the one-word texts. I hate texting, I'm painfully slow at it, and if it's going to require more than one back and forth, just freaking call me already. But questions that require a singular answer are ok. I was just going to go home and be all housewifely (and by housewifely, I mean I was going to throw in a load of laundry, then sprawl on my bed to watch me some 90210 on the TiFaux...Donna and David's wedding! I know, there's something very wrong with me) but no, I end up spending $22 at Target instead. I swear, you two are a bad influence on me.

While I was there, I saw these little red stretch pants with silver hearts that you would assume were for Valentine's day, but they were on clearance? Weird. In any case, I didn't buy them. That is, until Kylie got out of preschool, and she informed me that tonight at Awana is Crazy Pants Night. Yes, I said Crazy Pants Night. My mom takes her to Awana on Wednesday nights and is her Sparky leader. I am at work, so I have no part in the process. I'm a little freaked out at the intensity of the brainwashing verse memorization thing for a 5 year-old, but that's a whole other post.

I remembered the red heart pants and thought they would be nice for Crazy Pants Night, so I asked Kylie if she wanted to go look at them. She said yes, and she also said she was hungry. I knew I'd end up at the snack bar getting a personal pizza for her, but that's ok. So we went, got the pants, and some kid-scissors (52 cents!), then went to the snack bar for her lunch. We're sitting there, she's eating her pizza, and I'm watching people walk by.

Hey, I know that lady...she's the mom of a girl Danni went to elementary school with. Had she looked my way, I would have waved, and she would have waved back. But she didn't. Older couple pushing a cart, a mom with a baby in the front of her cart, big doofus wearing a backpack...HOLY CRAP! It's Game Stop Boy! He's following me! I put my head down quickly, hoping he wouldn't recognize me.

He didn't, of course...he was ambling by in his own little world. It occurs to me that Game Stop is in the same strip mall with the Target, about three doors down. Heh, I love that band. It just never occurred to me that it would be THAT store he worked at. Although, since the mall where I had the traffic class is just across the street, it's not too surprising.

Damn! Now I'm being stalked by Game Stop Boy! Will this madness ever end? What's next? Angry Guy shows up at the weekly Sit 'n Bitch? The bastards are closing in on me!

"One toke over the line, sweet Jesus, one toke over the line..."

Completely unrelated, here's a little tip for you. If your mom happens to be over at your house, and you happen to be doing some laundry, don't complain to her that your kids suck at putting their laundry away. Don't tell her that you might as well just do it yourself, because if you leave a stack of clothes on their beds for them to put away, they will push it onto the floor when it's time to go to sleep, and then the pile will sit there for all eternity, or at least until you yell and they decide the clean clothes have become dirty and throw them back in the laundry basket. Don't tell her that, because she will laugh in your face and make a snide comment about paybacks.

Or maybe that's just my mom. And then she tells me it's not even Crazy Pants Night. It's Backwards Night. How apropos.


Anonymous said...

I just knew you would end up with those pants!! KLM

Shelley said...

Hey, only because the little misinformed twit told me it was Crazy Pants Night! And that means I was at Target twice in one day. I think I need an intervention.

Fannie Mae said...

Awana? WTF?

LIBSMOM said...

Um, $22? Are you sure you didn't mean $222? Or is that just me?
My Mom swears that I was perfect in every way and it's just boys that are slobs. I guess you have evidence to the contrary!

Shelley said...

Fannie, Awana is a Wednesday night church thing. I think it's a baptist thing for the most part, even though my parents aren't baptist and never have been, I think the church they go to might lean in that direction. Anyway, I'm not going to get into my feelings about religion/church here, but I will say that sometimes hearing my mom grilling a 5 year-old on the books of the Bible makes me feel a little...ooky. The only reason she goes is because she really likes it. It's not something I would ever make her do. She has a lot of fun, and hopefully it's not doing too much damage. Awana is actually an acronym for ... get this... Approved Workers Are Never Ashamed, which I think is completely retarded. But whatever. You'd think they could have come up with something better than that though. If my long-winded explanation hasn't helped, or you are interested, which I'm sure you're not :), you can go here:

Pam, LOL! It's just you, although if I had a spare $222 to drop at Target, I'm sure I would.

Greta said...

See now, my mom wouldn't laugh. She would launch in to a whole, "the kids are bad housekeepers because YOU are a bad housekeeper" tirade.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

So, wear the pants backward!

And you are definitely my Target soul sister - although I am amazed you managed to go there and only spend 22 dollars. My trips always go upward of 40.

Thanks for stopping by my blog! And I'll be back!

onthegomom said...

I LOVE to text... I would rather text than talk on the phone.

I cannot believe you only spent $22 in Target. I cannot get out of that store without spending at least $40.