90 Minutes and $12.50 That I Can't Get Back

So, I guess God missed my request a few posts back about not having to sit through Kung Fu Panda. Guess what Kylie and I did today?





















Oh yeah.

You know it's bad when it's only a 90 minute movie, and you're thinking, "Good Lord, isn't this thing over yet? So I amused myself by taking pictures of the screen with my phone, trying to see what funny shots I could get. The above was about as good as that got.

Taking pictures of the movie screen killed at least two minutes. After that, I tried to decide which movie this movie was trying to be. At first, I thought, ok...misfit kid, wise old Master Shifu teaching him karate kung fu, so he can defeat the evil Johnny Lawrence of Cobra Kai Tai Lung. Yeah, I liked that one better with Pat Morita.

Then, there was also an even wiser old all-knowing turtle named Yoda Oogway, who is the spiritual guide for Obi Wan Kenobi Master Shifu, as he tries to teach Luke Po the Panda the ways of the Force kung fu, so he can have a final showdown with Darth Vader Tai Lung.

There was also a montage of "training" scenes for Po learning the kung fu, in which I fully expected to hear the theme from "Rocky."

I guess the point of all this is that I don't think anyone at Dreamworks has had an original idea since Shrek. I loved Shrek. Shrek was funny. This? Not so much.

And if all that wasn't bad enough, during the previews I learned that Madagascar 2 will be out in November. Joy. And to top it all off, there was this:



Now I love me some Star Wars. I'm not even one of those purists who only likes the first trilogy. I liked all six movies. But the whole time I was watching this, I was thinking, "Please let this be a commercial for a video game. This looks like a video game. Please let this be a video game."

Alas, it is not a video game. Oh George...what are you doing?