Tuesday, June 24, 2008

90 Minutes and $12.50 That I Can't Get Back

So, I guess God missed my request a few posts back about not having to sit through Kung Fu Panda. Guess what Kylie and I did today?

Oh yeah.

You know it's bad when it's only a 90 minute movie, and you're thinking, "Good Lord, isn't this thing over yet? So I amused myself by taking pictures of the screen with my phone, trying to see what funny shots I could get. The above was about as good as that got.

Taking pictures of the movie screen killed at least two minutes. After that, I tried to decide which movie this movie was trying to be. At first, I thought, ok...misfit kid, wise old Master Shifu teaching him karate kung fu, so he can defeat the evil Johnny Lawrence of Cobra Kai Tai Lung. Yeah, I liked that one better with Pat Morita.

Then, there was also an even wiser old all-knowing turtle named Yoda Oogway, who is the spiritual guide for Obi Wan Kenobi Master Shifu, as he tries to teach Luke Po the Panda the ways of the Force kung fu, so he can have a final showdown with Darth Vader Tai Lung.

There was also a montage of "training" scenes for Po learning the kung fu, in which I fully expected to hear the theme from "Rocky."

I guess the point of all this is that I don't think anyone at Dreamworks has had an original idea since Shrek. I loved Shrek. Shrek was funny. This? Not so much.

And if all that wasn't bad enough, during the previews I learned that Madagascar 2 will be out in November. Joy. And to top it all off, there was this:

Now I love me some Star Wars. I'm not even one of those purists who only likes the first trilogy. I liked all six movies. But the whole time I was watching this, I was thinking, "Please let this be a commercial for a video game. This looks like a video game. Please let this be a video game."

Alas, it is not a video game. Oh George...what are you doing?


Anniepants927 said...

I took my nephew to this a week or so ago. I hear ya. TOTALLY.

Shelley said...

Awww...we should've taken Kylie and Alex together! They would have liked that.

Diesel said...

Funny, it's gotten good reviews. Looked like crap to me though.

alice-bunnie said...

Ah, yes, the next Star Wars movie, but it looks like they couldn't pay anybody enough money, so they decided to animate it. ;p

Jen said...

I'm sorry I missed it. I bet I spent more then $12.95 in 90 min. doing what we were doing. I so would have rather been with you.

Shelley said...

Jen - I would have prefered that too. I had no one to make snarky comments with. Did you go home this morning? How are you guys doing? Call me, ok?

Greta said...


Sorry, I loved that flick. It probably helped that we saw it for free (gift certs). Way better than friggin' Bee Movie. That's fo sho!

Lish said...

Oh, I am so sure I'll be sitting through that Star Wars movie with Aidan. *LOL* (I hate Shrek though!)

Shelley said...

Greta - you are absolutely free to dissent. This is an equal opportunity blog. There aren't too many animated films that I like, but you're right, it WAS better than the stupid Bee movie.

Lish - How can you hate Shrek??

Just for the record, I really liked Enchanted too. That was Disney though, not Dreamworks. Although I do think that Disney/Pixar mostly has the same problem coming up with original ideas.

Mary said...

Thanks for the warning! Luckily, my kids bridge the Kung fu panda gap so I don't have to endure that pain. haha!

Meg said...

As soon as we landed in Orange County CA for a family vacation, my son announce he wanted to see that movie. Thankfully the Pacific Ocean pushed my future misery back a few days.

Lish said...

How can I hate Shrek? NOT original in any way, shape or form...plus I hate that it's marketed to kids when it's adult potty humor.

I'm not big on censorship or anything like that, it's just not my personal tastes. (I thought Bee Movie was much cuter and better! Sorry! *LOL*)

Rick said...

Interesting and funny post. Thanks for saving me money on Kung Fu Panda. As far as Star Wars, I agree. I don' think that I need any more of the "blanks" filled in. I got enough of the story the first six times. And I don't think a cartoon version will make up for the another bad script.