What Are We Going To Do TODAY?

Hello, I'm Julie McCoy, your cruise director. It's my job to see that every moment of your life is filled with fun and expensive exciting activities! I would be remiss in my duties if there is one second in your day where there is not something to DO.

I hope Julie was well compensated paid. As for compensation...well, we all knew about the affair with Captain Stubing.

Point is, being a cruise director is a difficult job. Especially when your clientele is whiny and demanding.

So you may, or may not, have noticed that I haven't posted in over a week. That's because I've been trying to find STUFF TO DO. Because kids, they always have to have STUFF TO DO. Do you remember your mom planning out your summer with tons of stuff to do? Me either. I remember whining that I was bored. And I remember my mom offering to find something for me to do if I couldn't entertain myself. Somehow, my brother and I always found something to do. Even if it was trying to drown each other in the swimming pool.

Alas, the days of, "Just go out and play!" are gone. The kids might...um...well, I don't know, but surely something really bad might happen if they went outside and just played. You know, like we used to do.

Actually, I shouldn't complain right now. Kylie is outside riding her scooter in the cul-de-sac with the neighbor kids. She was over there at 8:30 asking if they could play. Normally I would feel bad about that, but this family, who just moved in, her two younger kids are usually out there on their bikes by 8am yelling outside my bedroom window. Which is fine...they're actually nice. From Utah. And of course, she's skinny. Although, fyi...there ARE fat people in Colorado. Like at the amusement park and the grocery store. Just not in my neighborhood.

This woman, Erin, has a six year-old daughter, an eight year-old son, and another girl who is older. When I first saw this girl, I thought, "Great! Another girl who is going to be new at Shannon's high school. Maybe they can get to know each other and wouldn't that be cool."

Well, since this girl is bigger, taller, and more well-developed than Shannon, and spends a good deal of her time walking around in her backyard talking on her cell phone, I just assumed she was going to be going to the high school. But no...she's ELEVEN. As in, 11 years old.

Anyway, I'm off track here. This post was supposed to be about how we're trying to find things to DO.

So I give you a pictorial look at the past couple of weeks:

Yesterday, Steve and I took Kylie to Belleview Park. Shannon couldn't seem to get her lazy teenage ass out of bed, so we went, just the three of us.

Belleview Park has a petting zoo, with sheep and goats.

And a very large turkey, who according to the girls that work there, does not care to be petted.

They also had a very cute calf. There was a big pig sleeping in the mud that I couldn't get Kylie to pet. I petted the pig. Kylie took a picture, but it was very blurry so I had to delete it. Besides, the pig was skinnier than I am, and I don't care for that.

There is also a train, which you can ride around the park for only $1.

The best part of the park is the long wading creek that runs through it. There are sandbars for the kids to play on, or you can just walk in it. There is sand on the bottom. However, it's not that nice soft beach sand, but more like playground sand with rocks in it, so the barefoot thing hurt. Well, it hurt me, not Kylie so much. I waded around in my tennis shoes. That's ok, they needed washing anyway.

Next, we have Elitch Gardens. Elitch's is Denver's big amusement park. It also has a waterpark inside it, which is open from Memorial Day to Labor Day. Apparently after that, it snows, and no one really wants to be in the water park. However, Elitch's is open until Nov. 1st.

We have season passes, so we can go for free (well, not free, we paid for the passes) anytime we want. It's like the zoo though...after three or four times, it gets kind of old. What really gets old is that if you're hot, there's not much to do at the water park, because your wimpy Arizona kids are complaining about how cold the water is, and can't we come back when the water is warmer? Well, kids, I hate to break this to you, but it's the middle of July. The water isn't going to get any warmer, especially when it gets down to 58-60 degrees every night. The water in the water park here, or in the swimming pools, isn't ever going to be the 88 degrees that you're used to. Deal with it.

Anyway, the following pictures are a compilation of I believe three trips to Elitch's.

Kylie and Steve on the kiddie monster trucks.

Kylie and me on the Ferris Wheel. Yes, I know you can't see me. I was taking the picture.

Kiddie bumper cars...

Kylie's favorite, the kiddie-sized roller coaster.

Little teacups that are made to look like little rolls of film. Cute, aren't they? No, I have no idea who that boy is. He just jumped in there with her.

And then it rained.

Next time, we took Shannon, and we did some of the bigger rides. This one is called Disaster Canyon. If you've been to Seaworld and been on Shipwreck Rapids? Same thing. This is actually a "family ride" which Kylie is big enough for, if she's with someone bigger. The family rides require a 42" height. Kylie is 44". Yay.

Kylie and I went on Shipwreck Falls, which is a just a splashdown ride where everyone gets very, very wet. Shannon didn't want to go, but she thoughtfully took this picture.

This is Shannon on a roller coaster called Mr. Twister. We thought it would be good for Kylie to try out a real rollercoaster, as this one had no huge drops, and no loops. Kylie was ready, and excited. Then they wouldn't let her on, because she wasn't big enough. Kylie was very upset. I tried to explain that it was a safety issue, because the restraints might not fit her correctly. She was not very understanding. By the way, at the beginning of this ride, and all the way through the maze of sidewalks to get there, and even on the platform, there was not ONE single sign that specified a height requirement. Because I looked.

Then Shannon took Kylie on the Flying Dragon, which she was big enough to go on.

They went up really high and then spun around. No thanks, says Shelley.

Then they went on The Spider. Isn't it nice to have older sisters to take younger kids on rides that would make Mommy lose her $12 lunch?

Spinning and twirling and up and down. Again, no thanks. And just in case anyone thinks I'm a complete wimp...I really love roller coasters. I just can't do the spinney-twisty things. And it's not just age. Even when I was a kid, I didn't like those kinds of rides. When I was seven, I got sick on a Tilt-A-Whirl. Aren't you glad you know that about me?

Then we went to the waterpark part of the park. I have no pictures of that, because they didn't stay in the water long enough for me to get my camera out. But there is a wave pool, kids' play area, and a whole bunch of big water slides. And a lazy river. We did go on the lazy river. And then Kylie turned into an ice cube. Surprisingly, after they froze to death, they wanted a snow cone. This is Elitch's idea of a snow cone. It could have fed six people.

Two days ago, on Saturday, Kylie was invited to a birthday party for the little girl two doors down from us. She was turning three. They had a bouncy house, and a lot of people.

Naturally, I didn't know most of the people, but I recognized a few of them because they had also been there for the 4th of July.

I love the wooden deck in the backyard. I also love how these people have a kids' birthday party at 10:30 in the morning, and they crack open the beers. The host, Jenny, who is a very nice lady, even if she is skinny, asked me if I wanted one. I told her thank you, but I really didn't care for the taste of beer. Then she said, "Oh, well, I have those Bacardi Mojitos in a bottle too. Would you like one of those?" Well, thanks Jenny...I'd love four one. Actually I did end up having three. Or maybe four. Which makes a three year-old's party with people you don't really know a lot more interesting.

One lady told me she had a friend who lived in Phoenix, and asked me if I had ever heard of the "strange" custom of ice-blocking. Heard of it? Lady, you are talking to the ice-blocking queen. In fact, Danni has some pictures on her MySpace right now of her and her friends ice-blocking at Freestone Park one night. I should steal a few of them. The pictures, I mean. So I guess the concept of riding down a grassy hill at night sitting on a block of ice is foreign to these people. Then again...they have sledding.

One day last week, I took the kids up to Red Rocks Amphitheatre. A lot of really famous people have played here, like Rob Thomas and John Mayer. Ok, if you want to get picky, there's also been Sting, U2, Led Zepplin, Van Halen, and just about every other group you can think of. Blues Traveler plays here every 4th of July.

Kylie wanted to go all the way to the bottom, down where the stage is. Shannon and I were like...um, no, because then there's that whole walking back up thing. Once again, Kylie is pissed. That's ok. She spends most of her life pissed, because of the things we won't let her do.

In the visitor's center, there's this music museum thing. There's this wall with a lot of old concert posters, which is very cool. They also have a huge wall engraving listing every band that's ever played there, by date and year. John Mayer was there May 15th and 16th of 2007. Aren't you glad you know that? That's also how I know that Blues Travler is there every 4th of July. We'll be going back here soon, because Steve wants to see the museum part. Apparently, he's only ever been there for concerts, and not as a tourist.

Then there was the day when I got lost and ended up here. Well, ok....I get lost almost every day, but there are times, like this one, when it turns out ok. Tiny Town is a park filled with miniature buildings, and a train that goes around everything. I'm glad we happened upon this before Shannon got here, because she would have been thoroughly bored. Kylie loved it though. In Shannon's defense, it is pretty much for little kids.

We rode the train around the park, which is really cool because there are some models that are across the creek you're not allowed to cross, so there are things you can only see from the train. Which I'm not going to show you right now, because I am really sick of uploading pictures. Probably almost as sick as you are of looking at them.

Here's Kylie next to the Tiny Town Library.

Then there was this place. You wouldn't believe what was going on inside.

Oh yeah...drunken debauchery of the highest order, by Barbie and Ken, and all their friends, dressed up in old west costumes.

I think Kylie learned a little more than she needed to about the old west that day. See the disapproving look on her face?

And finally, we have Kylie and her friend Megan riding their scooters at Clement Park. Megan is a friend of Kylie's from kindergarten. At the end of the school year, Megan's mom told me they were going to be in Colorado visiting friends and relatives at the beginning of July. So I gave her my cell phone number and my email address, and she said she would let me know when they were here. And she did. Kylie was really happy to see an old friend.

I was going to end this post with Kylie whining, yet again, "But what are we doing TODAY?" Except I don't have to, because she's next door, bugging the crap out of someone else's mom right now. Thank goodness. Julie needs a break!