What The F*%& Friday!

Welcome, Dear Readers, to the inaugural installment of What The F*$& Friday, which may or may not become a regular feature.

When I talked about this last Saturday, all four comments I had said they couldn't wait for What The F*$& Friday. This, my friends, is a lot of pressure. I've been fretting all week (do people still say fretting? That sounds like something my grammy would have said) about what to write. I had a million ideas and none at the same time. Some of them were funny, some not. Congress, healthcare, my teenager, dog poo sinking under the snow, being unemployed, Facebook weirdness, and my husband's inability to hit the laundry basket. I actually took a picture of that one. My husband's boxers, and one sock on the floor next to the basket, with the other sock draped halfway over the rim. However, it was a crappy picture (cell phone, bad closet lighting), and I figured that this wouldn't be news to anyone who has ever had a husband or a child. Or a live-in boyfriend.

Today I'm going to talk about the trials and tribulations of my oldest daughter, who is 17 years and 11 months old. This will be important later. She's having a rough month. On President's day, she was in a car accident. She was driving herself and two softball teammates to a movie after practice, when some dumbass 17 year-old girl with no driver's license turned left right in front of her, totaling her car. Luckily, her two passengers were unharmed (and all wearing seatbelts, yay!). My daughter was fine at first, but she woke up the next day with severe neck pain, and was diagnosed with a cervical sprain, which we used to call whiplash. She is fine now. However, the last few weeks have been a complete clusterf*$& with the other driver's grandfather's insurance company. It was her grandfather's car. The grandfather told the insurance company that the girl took the car without permission, and therefore he was denying any liability. Excuse me, what the f*$&? I didn't realize that when your underage, unlicensed granddaughter takes your car for a little joyride and causes an accident that was 100% her fault, that you had the choice to deny liability. Sorry Grandpa. Your car, your insurance policy, your granddaughter, your responsibility. Thankfully, that's exactly the way it turned out. Now we're just negotiating the amount that a company that rhymes with Biberty Lutual is going to be paying us for the car. Our insurance company rocks. We only had liability on daughter's car, but they went to bat for us with Biberty Lutual and we'll be getting enough money to get her another car.

My other beef happened just yesterday. Not only was my poor daughter in a car accident, but she has been stricken with not one, but two cases of tonsillitis. She has never had tonsillitis before in her life. My mother (her temporary legal guardian) took her to the urgent care the first time. They tested for strep, negative. They tested for mono (which she had last year), negative. Gave her antibiotics and sent her home. They worked great, she finished them, and she was fine for about three days. Then on Wednesday, her throat started hurting again. By yesterday after school and softball practice, she was in a lot of pain again. She tried to reach my parents, but they didn't answer their cells. This happens, as they are old and if they're in a noisy place (like an ASU softball game), they won't hear the phones.

So, my daughter, being 17 years and 11 months old, drove herself to the urgent care. They refused to treat her because she is a minor. Now here's my issue: Did you know that my daughter, who is 17 years and 11 months old, can go to the doctor or a clinic and discuss birth control, pap smears, abortions, or anything gynecological in nature by herself without a parent or guardian? But if she has a swollen, red throat, which is almost certainly a recurrence of tonsillitis, she has to have her grandmother with her or they won't treat her? What. The. F*$&?

As a result, she had to go home, wait until my parents got home (after the urgent care was closed) and go to the emergency room where they spent the entire. night. They got there around 8:30pm and didn't get home until after 4am. Seriously. What. The. F*$&.


On the bright side, she will be here for a spring break visit next Friday, then after graduation she is coming here to live with us! I feel a little badly that my 73 year-old mother had to spend all night in an ER waiting room. I can't wait to have my daughter back with us, where she belongs.

I hope you all enjoyed What The F*$& Friday!