Sunday, September 7, 2008

Boobs

The other day, I inserted Google Analytics into my template where Google told me it should go. I like to read other people's posts about the totally weird Google searches that lead to their blogs, and I couldn't wait to read what totally weird random search words would lead people to my blog.

Well, it's been 3 or 4 days, and I've had 150 hits or so, but only two of them are from Google searches. And they were both totally boring. One of them was something like "age to work at Hollister," and the other one was "sick for jury duty", or perhaps "sick of jury duty." I'm not sure how that happened because while I did write one post about my jury duty experience, I did NOT call in sick. No, I didn't. I DID NOT. Actually it was one of those cool jury duties (ha, I said duties) where you call in the night before and they tell you your group is dismissed.

So, I decided to write a post with a title of "Boobs" and see if that helps me in the weird Google search department. However, you can't just title a post "Boobs" for no reason. Well, you could, but it doesn't seem right.

Here, for your reading enjoyment, is my list of things I have in common with the Republican vice presidential nominee, Sarah Palin:

1) Boobs. As in, she has them, and so do I. Except hers are better. Actually, I'm sure there are other female body parts we have in common, such as eyes, ears, feet and elbows. And other things that I won't mention, because this is a family blog. Sort of.

2) I shot a moose once. Ok, I totally made that up. I've never fired a gun. Come to think of it, I've never even held a gun. Unless you count my brother's G.I. Joe Tactical Weapon Artillery Bazooka.

3) I live in a state that starts and ends with the letter A. No, not that one. The other one. Have you ever noticed that three of the four states that start with the letter A also end with the letter A? I think we should make up some more. How about Astromonia? Abelakana? Aboobnia?

See, now if anyone searches "Sarah Palin boobs", they should be led straight to my blog. I'm not sure why anyone would search that, but I'll bet they will. I'll let you know.

9 comments:

HappyHourSue said...

Be patient...the weirdos will come. 'Ginormous purple genitals' came from:
1) a post about the word ginormous
2) Britney's "purple drank"
3) nicknames for kids genitals.

= Weirdo visitor.

Lish said...

And see, you mentioned Sarah Palin and I thought of Republicans...and of course BOOBS...but not the kind we have, rather the one in office. ;)

Kiki said...

This is brilliant.

I used the word Ped Egg once and still can't believe the amount of search engine hits I get from it.

Go figure.

Alice said...

Some things are probably better left unknown. I have a "nifty" on my LJ that shows who has looked at my journals and stuff like that. I found out some anonymous person has either been logging in from Osaka, Japan, or using an "anonymizer" to read my journal, so that I can't figure out who they are. I'd rather be blissfully ignorant than wonder why someone would go to that trouble. And, also I wonder why someone with the LJ user name "johnsonholder" is reading my journal. ;P

Jen E said...

love "aboobnia" that cracked me up - right along with the rest of the post! :)

shellie said...

you are right on the money.

I use to have this feature but don't anymore because I have no idea how to install it in my new site. lame.

my biggest lead was people searching for cheetos. I got at least 5 hits a day from people googling it.

Shellie said...

oh and I'm so glad to meet you. you have a great blog. its been fun to read :)

Anniepants927 said...

You crack me up! Your blog is so entertaining! ;-)

Heather said...

Oh, I so canNOT figure out how to get Google Analytics set up right on my blog. It's depressing how much I hate it.

Sitemeter (the free version, as I'm cheap) does tell me from where folks come, and that includes any and all search engines. I've had some humdingers.

The top weird/icky/nasty/EW searches were usually tied to my having mentioned castration (in a perfectly innocent post about growing up on a sheep farm and an oral presentation I gave for school one year on the subject) (actually, it had NEVER occurred to me that there would be more nefarious or kinky, um, well, USES for castration - *shudder*), boobs (yep, I've got 'em and I've mentioned em a few times, though again, never in any kinky way), the words "naked" and "locker room" thanks to a post in which I discussed how I hate it when naked strangers talk to me in the dressing room at the YMCA, and "embarrassing moments" from the post of the same name.

Actually, most of the icko/weirdo searches use some combination of "naked" "embarrassing moments" and "boobs" so if the Sarah Palin boob thing doesn't spike your crazy Google search numbers, through something in a post about nudity and embarrassing moments. Hee!

Cheers! I'm off to poke around your blog some more........ :)