Are You Serious?

It's been pointed out to me that I haven't posted in nearly two weeks. This is mostly because I don't really have much to say, and certainly nothing interesting or funny. If you want funny, please check this out: Back to School with Bathtub Gangsta

Anyway, things have been kind of shitty boring around here lately, which is why I haven't posted. So just for fun, here's a list of things that you wouldn't think you would need to tell teenagers, but for some reason, you do. Feel free to add your own:

1. Songs with the words "fuck" and "shit" in them are not acceptable to be played in my house. It's especially not acceptable to put your iPod into your radio and play said songs at full volume, while your five year-old sister is in the house.

2. Trash belongs in a trash can.

3. Ants are attracted to food.

4. I cannot pull $20 bills out of my ass. (That one is especially for the 13 year-old).

5. When your mother does something nice for you, like buying food for your hamster, replacing the vanity bulbs in your bathroom, straightening up your room (I was feeling extremely generous that day*), or making you a nice dinner, the appropriate response is "Thanks, Mom!"

*Disclaimer - I do not often clean up the rooms of my teenagers. That is their job. However, in the midst of a rousing game of "What the Hell Is That Stench?", I kind of ended up straightening up the room somewhat.

6. It's really nice that you want to save the earth by being "green." You even congratulated your dad on buying some fluorescent last-forever light bulbs. However, if you want to do your part to save the planet, you might want to start by turning off your bedroom light, your bathroom light, and your radio. Oh, and closing the door so we're not air-conditioning the whole neighborhood? That would be nice too.

Ok, it's official. I have totally turned into my own mother. Next thing you know, I'm going to be peeking out of my curtains, spying on the neighbors and calling the cops on the ones who are parked in front of the fire hydrant.