Tuesday, August 26, 2008

There's Been A Disruption In the Time/Space Continuum

So, yesterday I started working at my same job, but now instead of working from 3pm to 11pm, I'm there from 8:30am to 4pm.

It's definitely an adjustment. I don't so much care for the rush hour traffic. Both coming and going. It's not that bad though...it only takes me about 10 minutes longer to get there than it did when I wasn't in rush hour traffic.

Here's the weird part: The day seems very long. You would think that during the day, there is more to do and the time would go faster. You would think. But for some reason, the day seems longer to me than the night shift did. I think I've figured out why.

There's been a disruption in the time/space continuum, you see. No, I'm not driving a DeLorean. But before, when I was working evenings, I was still up at 7am, taking people to school, and then doing various things, from running errands to grocery shopping, seeing friends, occasionally doing some laundry, etc. In other words, I had a day. And THEN, I went to work.

Now, my day IS at work. And now I come home, nag people about homework, make dinner, do kindergarten homework with the youngest (don't panic, it's only one page), watch some TV with the kids, and clean up the house for the next day.

I kind of do the same things, but in a different order. And somehow this is completely messing with my head. The day seems so very, very long.

There are also now people to deal with, at work. Most of them, I like. One of them even occasionally reads this blog. (Hi Bonnie!) But there are a couple of people that I can see pushing me over the edge.

One of them is the bane of my existence, a temp/trainee, whom I'm going to refer to as Twink. Bonnie has thus dubbed her, and it is so. Because it's funny. Twink is 18 years old, and she has the emotional and mentally maturity of a 12 year-old. She apparently has anxiety issues, and OCD, but she's also silly and immature. I've decided that the only way I'm going to survive this girl is to mess with her head when she asks stupid questions. And by stupid questions, observe the example from today:

Twink, randomly: "Where does your hair grow from?"

Supervisor: "Um...your scalp?"

Me: "It grows directly from your brain."

Twink: "Really?"

Me: "Totally. It comes right out of your brain and it pokes through your head. Every time you cut your hair, you get a little bit dumber because you're cutting off brain cells."

At this point, co-workders starting laughing, thus blowing my story. In case you think Twink is just acting dumb...I assure you, she's not acting.

I also got to listen to her side of a conversation with her boyfriend on the phone today. It went like this:

"Are you mad? You sound mad." Pause "I'm at work. Why would you think I'm somewhere else? I don't get why you're mad." Pause "Because of the way you're acting. I'm at work. Why are you getting mad?" Ad nauseum. Oh yes...her boyfriend is an abusive asshole. Surprise. I swear, if I wanted to be in middle school, I'd be in one.

The answer is headphones. Big ones, that plug into my laptop and drown out Twink. Although, I think this may be good blog fodder. The Adventures of Twink. Because I swear, sometimes she says things that just...defy explanation. I wonder what kind of shit I can make up to tell her tomorrow.


Anonymous said...

You are just evil! How could you possibly miss this opportunity to mess with this innocent "Bambi- like" mind by putting on headphones?! I'm looking forward to hearing more about your new wrinkle in life. Sorry about the space/time adjustment, but I know you'll make it! KLM

Alice said...

The fact that hair grows from your brains explains why my hair is falling out and getting thinner. It's food supply is dwindling. ;)

Lish said...

I haven't cut my hair in years, and Paige is always ragging on me about not changing my style. Now I can tell her...that's why I'm so smart! :-P

Debbie said...

I absolutely live to mess with the Twinks in the world. Annoying - oh my gosh yes. But, aren't they fun too? Please keep us informed of the lastest.

Anonymous said...

Hey Shelley, sorry to leave alone with the Twink all week while I've been gobbing up snot ... But yeah, hair does grow out of the brain. Bob Dylan said so. But then Twink would wrinkle her nose and say, "Who's Bob Dylan? Was he on 90210?" -- Bonnie

Mary said...

So that's what happened to me!!! I got the worst haircut in history, its way too short and I've been incredibly stupid lately. Hmmm....

And I was blaming Pregnancy. Silly me!

So sorry your day is so busy now. wondering when you will blog?

Jen said...

Twink....Twink...her life will never be the same with you in it. Looking forward to your new stories.

LIBSMOM said...

Hey Shelley!
I'm back in the land of blog!! Funny funny story!
I've always thought your shift work was the best of both worlds; day to yourself/kids stuff and then leaving Steve to handle dinner/homework/bed time routine. I'd LOVE that! Any chance you'll go back to it?
I hope I didn't freak you out with my last email, I never heard back from you.

HappyHourSue said...

Doesn't it amaze you how these retards get hired in the first place? Can you imagine her interview?

Also: all the rocker pics came through...Europe! "it's the final countdown..." I still love that song.

Cassie said...

You are evil, and I really kind of like it...