Broken Hearts

I think I just got some idea of how Shannon is going to feel when she gets here. She just called me, and she was sobbing her heart out. She said goodbye to the friend she was staying with today, and now she has just said goodbye to Michael, her boyfriend. She was crying so hard she could barely breathe. And she was at my parents' house, alone. They are in North Carolina, and Danni won't be home from work for another 40 minutes or so.

It's times like these that every snotty remark, every eyeroll, and everything they have put you through goes right out the window. I just want to make this better for her. I want to make this not hurt. I want to give her the gift of hindsight, so she can understand that this will pass, she will feel better, and life will go on. And I can't. There's nothing I can do to make her feel better right now.

And my heart is breaking.

The Countdown Is On

So Jenn from Juggling Lifeand Fannie from This Isn't What I Ordered have both tagged me for a Mom Meme. And I'm going to do it, I swear. Just as soon as I can narrow down my bad parenting moments to just ONE, and come up with seven good things about my kids. The latter should be easier than the former.


In the meantime, let's talk about the fact that it's about T minus 48 hours until Shannon gets here. Shannon is a very complicated subject right now. First of all, I'd like you to go and read this post about adolescent angst by Suburban Correspondent at The Womens Colony. Wow, I'm full of links today, right? Seriously, go read it...I'll wait.


Did you read it? I hope so, because this pretty accurately describes my feelings about Shannon right now. Mourning the loss of my sweet little girl, and hoping she turns back into a human one day. I was discussing this with my oldest daughter the other day, that every time I think I've turned a corner with Shannon, and she seems to be being nice and cooperative, it turns out it's only because she was after something. It's a little disheartening, actually.


Like S.C. and her daughter, Shannon and I were close when she was younger. She was my little mini-me, my snuggle bug, the kid who still loved me while my oldest was going through the adolescent thing. I loved that sweet little girl so much. I still love her, but there are times, a lot of times, when I really don't like her very much.


I don't know what's going to happen when she gets here. Is she going to be happy to see us? She mentioned on the phone once that she wanted us to change her plane ticket, so she could come earlier. She was "homesick", she said...even though she hasn't left home yet. She said she feels like Arizona isn't really her home anymore, and she wanted to come to Colorado.


She changed her mind though, deciding that she wanted to spend as much time as possible with her "boyfriend." I put boyfriend in quotes because...ok, she's 14. His name is Michael. She really likes him. Hell, I really liked him. He is a really, really sweet kid. Which made me wonder what he is doing hanging out with Shannon, but I digress. In fact, I talked to the mother of the girl that Shannon is staying with a couple of days ago, who assured me that not only was my daughter not giving her any trouble, but she's pleasant to have around and very polite. Say what? Don't you wish they could save some of that for you sometimes?


So, she will get here Friday night. Will she be glad to see us? Brokenhearted from leaving Michael? Sullen? Excited? Morose? Depressed? I have no idea. She's not going to have her friends to fall back on when she does arrive. After the holiday weekend, when her dad goes back to work, she's really going to have no choice but to spend time with Kylie and me. I promised her new bedding for her room, and a guinea pig. The guinea pig was a deal I made with her when I first told her we were moving, way back in December. We just got a really sweet deal on a huge wooden cage for the future guinea pig too. And when I say sweet deal, I mean it was sitting out in front of our neighbor's house last Saturday, and I rang her bell and asked her if she was selling it, and she said, "Oh lordy, I'm moving and I just can't deal with that thing. Just take it, PLEASE!"


I have to admit, not having her around has been...peaceful. No arguing, no snottiness, no attitude. Well, unless you count the six year-old. Having one child with you, all the time, from the time she wakes up until the time she goes to sleep is...exhausting. I'm not even sure exhausting is the word. Let's just say that I felt the urge to visit Tipsy's today. I came away with a large bottle of Barefoot Zin, red, that I may crack open here very soon.


See, I'm having very mixed feelings about this. I want her here, but I want her here and NICE. I know, I'm asking too much. I want her here, nice and appreciative of all the things I've done to try and make this easier on her. Which will happen when it snows in Phoenix, in July.


I have to admit, I'm nervous. She, on the other hand, has been having a grand time in Arizona, staying with a friend. They went to a concert last night by a guy who calls himself NeverShoutNever!. I'm confused by that...it sounds like the name of a group, but it's just him. Unless he's performing, then he has a backup band. But the NeverShoutNever! name is just him. His name is Christofer Drew, I think.


So Shannon got a picture with this guy, and I love the way she looks. I swiped the picture off her MySpace page, by the way, so shhhhh. I think she'd not be happy if she knew. But I just love the expression on her face. She looks so cute, and her face, to me, says, "Holy crap, I can't believe I'm standing here with this guy!"

She's going to have the opportunity to make some friends before school starts. In Colorado, the high schools play softball in the fall. Her high school is having position and conditioning clincs during the summer. The first two are next week, after she gets here. I hope she realizes that this is really a good opportunity for her to meet some kids, and not moan about it like she first did when I told her about it. It's like...I'm trying to help you here kid. I wish you could help me a little.

47 hours, 30 minutes, and counting.

Houston, We Have a Problem

You all know this book, right? If you have kids, you must have heard of it. I remember when it first came out, there was this big uproar over the word "fart." Like we all don't do it. Well, except me.



We have a new problem in the house, and let's just say I've thought of an alternate title to the above book.

For the past few nights, a dog has been...passing gas in our house. And this is not just any gas, but cringe-inducing, room-clearing, nauseating gas.

At first, I blamed Luke. Surely it must be the new dog, because Bo has never had this problem in the past. I've lived with this dog for the past nine years, and as God is my witness, I have never smelled this smell before.

However, last night, it became clear which dog was the culprit. Mainly because I nearly passed out from the smell, when Bo was right under the table, and Luke was outside. Obviously, I wasn't going to be able to blame this one on the puppy.

So, help me out here. He is eating the exact same food he has always eaten, so I know it's not the food. Steve says maybe it's all the exercise he's getting now, what with all the running around and playing with his new brother. Ok, exercise makes you fart? I wasn't aware of this. Which shows you how much exercise I get. Any of you exercisers out there, is this true?

Is it the altitude, the water, age, something new in the yard, stinkweed, or perhaps the little-known fartweed? Whatever it is, it needs to stop. Change. Something. Or I'm going to lose my dinner.

Does anyone else have a dog with this problem? Is there anything you can do about it? Like a natural remedy, like you put oil in their food for a shiny coat? What do you do about rancid-smelling SBDs from your dog? And please don't say you just live with it. I don't think I can.

My Two Boys

I have two boys in this house.

This is Bo. He's about 10 years old, so a senior citizen, as far as dogs go. He's a Chug (Chihuahua/Pug mix). Way back when I got him from the shelter, he was just a "mutt." Now he has a fancy name.

This is Luke. He's a beagle, about 8 months old. Did you know that beagles don't so much bark, as they do howl? I didn't. I do now.

We've had Bo for about 9 years. We rescued him from a shelter when he was about a year old.

Steve got Luke from a shelter when he moved to Denver six months ago. Luke kept him company when he was living in an apartment by himself.

The two of them met each other nine days ago. Since Bo is like an old man, and Luke is more like a toddler, you'd think they wouldn't be much interested in each other.

And this is what they do. All. Day. Long.

Life Without Teenagers

On Father's Day, Kylie wanted to take her dad fishing. Of course, this actually amounts to him taking her fishing, since she's never fished before, and it's one of his favorite things.




Since I imagine this is not the last time she will go fishing, we went and bought her her very own fishing pole. Clement Park is about five minutes from our house, and there is a lake.



Since I do not like fishing, or anything about fishing (boring, smelly, worms, flopping fish, ewww. I'm sorry, Justin...I really am), I set up camp under a tree, with a cooler of Diet Coke and the last Harry Potter book, which I am trying very hard to finish.

This is the view from my chair. It was about 77 degrees, and breezy. I could've sat there all day, and taken in the scenery.

Daddy baits the hook, because that's Daddy's job. Have I mentioned that worms, ewww?

They never did catch a fish on this particular day, but Kylie learned how to cast.

And she and her dad got to spend some quality time together.

Sitting on the pier, watching a bobber.

The End.

Except...there were two people noticably missing from our Father's Day. One of them will be arriving on July 3rd, and one of them...no longer lives with us.

Danni and my parents are going through an adjustment period, getting to know each other's schedules, my parents learning to live with a teenager again after 22 years of an empty nest. I think it's going ok. It will be better once school starts and they settle into a routine.

Have I mentioned that Danni has a job at Schmollister? (Mary, she really does!)

Here are some things I have noticed that have changed without them here:

We go through a lot less food.

And toilet paper.

I do a lot less laundry.

When I get ready in the morning, my brush is right where I left it.

So is my makeup.

I never have to go hunting for my lotion.

Kylie and I are together from the time she wakes up until the time she goes to sleep. This is not really as much fun as it sounds. Call me a bad mother, but by 4pm each day, I'm ready to lose my mind. She has no sisters to annoy at the moment, so guess who gets it? This is why I could never homeschool. Someone would surely die. Probably me.

I have no bathroom with makeup, towels and clothes spread from one end to the other.

I'm only nagging one person to clean up after herself, instead of three.

And I miss them like crazy.

Tipsy's Liquor World

I live exactly four miles from a store that purports to be the largest liquor store in the country.





I think I may need to go on a field trip.

I'm just sayin'.

P.S. - Danni, if you're reading this, I'm totally kidding.

Dear Colorado Landscape, Where Have You Been All My Life?

I have been taking pictures every day since we got here. As you can imagine, I'm getting a backlog. At first I thought, I'm not going to bore everyone with tons of pictures. Then I thought...well, of course I am.

These pictures are actually from the two-day drive that I took from Phoenix to Denver. In the van: Kylie, me, and the dog, Bo. There is no way I can do this drive in one day. Mapquest says 6 1/2 hours from Phoenix to Farmington NM, and then 6 1/2 hours from Farmington to Denver. Mapquest is full of crap. Factor in the kid, and the dog, and me getting lost (it had to happen at least once), and it's more like 8 hours each day.

First, you might say, why Farmington, NM? Well, it's about halfway, and there's a cheap Motel 6. And in this case, you really get what you pay for. What I got was scary people and a mattress that felt like a piece of plywood. Kylie? She got a friend.

This is Jillian. When we first saw her, she was sitting in the grass courtyard outside of our room, by herself. Not an adult in sight. I know she looks older than Kylie, but she's actually only five. I think I might have mentioned once or twice before that Kylie is a little on the small side.

Jillian and her mother and little sister were living at the motel, because they had been living with a roommate, but Mom and the roommate got in a fight, so here they were at the motel.

Kylie wanted to play with her, so I spent quite a lot of time sitting on the sidewalk outside my room with the dog on a leash, watching the girls romp around on the grass. Finally I told Kylie that we needed to leave and go get some dinner, and then go to sleep because we had another long day of driving ahead of us. She said I could just go back in the room and watch her out the window. Um, no freaking way, kid. Jillian's mom might be ok with that, but I definitely am not.

This is why I don't worry about Kylie though. She makes friends anywhere and everywhere she goes. Sometimes I think it would be nice to be six years old again.

Ok, day two of the drive. Day two was a lot more pleasant, mainly because of the amazing scenery that I'm going to share with you. I am having horrible anxiety issues right now, so we're all going to look at the beautiful, calming scenery together.

From Farmington, NM to this point is only about 30 miles or so. I was surprised how quickly we crossed over into Colorado.

Southwestern Colorado, such as the Durango area, is green rolling hills and trees. You drive through miles and miles of ranches and farms. Horses and cows abound. To a couple of city girls, the views were spectacular.

I love green, and tiny old abandoned houses sitting in the middle of nowhere. Doesn't it look straight out of Little House on the Prairie?

I pulled off the highway onto this dirt road to take the dog for a walk. It's a public road that led to several ranches down the way. Four or five pickup trucks rattled by as we were walking the dog. Every one of the drivers waved to us and called out, "How ya doin' today?", or something similar. People were so friendly, which is puzzling to me, because it's so not what I'm used to. I honestly expected someone to yell at us to get off the road, because it was a private road or something. But no, all we got were friendly greetings.

I love little waterfalls and rushing streams. There's just something so peaceful about them.

This is about halfway up Wolf Creek Pass. At the top is the Continental Divide.





We stayed here exactly fourteen seconds. Because an elevation of 11,000 ft. makes me woozy.

I have no more pictures, but I just have to mention that this time when I got lost? Was not my fault. My Mapquest directions said to take US-285 North for 122 miles. One would assume that this means you stay on the same road. However, Mapquest mentioned nothing about the one point where 285N and 24 East are the same road for a while. So there was a turn I was supposed to make to keep going on 285N/24E, except I didn't turn. So even though I just stayed straight on the same road, suddenly I was on 24W, which I didn't realize until I was about 25 miles beyond the mistake point. Then I got a feeling I was on the wrong road when I passed a sign that said it was 15 miles to Leadville. That didn't sound right. I called Steve. He said yup, you're on the wrong road. "But Mapquest was WRONG!", I cried. "I didn't screw up this time!"

Steve is very soothing in situations like this. He never makes fun of me for getting lost, for which I am grateful. He just calmly explained that I needed to turn around and go back to the last town I passed, Buena Vista. At the second stoplight, I needed to turn left to get back on 285N.

So I turned around, went back, and got on the right road. But just like last time I made this drive with a completely different screw up, it still cost me an extra hour. Some people are born with internal GPS systems. I am not one of them.

More pictures tomorrow, I think.