Fun With Google Analytics

Ok, so I think I finally have enough WTF searches on my blog for a decent post. Maybe. I've seen other people with much weirder keywords, but for what it's worth, here are my favorites:

1. a womans explanation to best foreplay with photos

Hon, if you don't know by now, I don't think photos are going to help you.

2. boobs on salt river

Every weekend, my friend. Every weekend.

3. birthday quotes for daughters age 13

How about this, "I hate you all, you're ruining my life...and get out of my room!!"
Five minutes later - "Can you drive me to the mall? And can I have $20 so I can go to a movie?"

4. choose jury duty called twice husband never

I know, right??? Me too! Except in my case, it was more like me five times, husband never.

5. convince exercise

Ok, go ahead...I'm listening

6. hummingbird foreplay
fore play+hummingbird

Um...what? Clearly something I missed in sex ed.

7. i think i'm begining to lose my sanity

You and me both, sister.

8. kevin bacon once said

"Let's DAAAAAAAAANCE!!!!!!!!!"

9. lucky i didn't kick your ass

Well...ok, then.

10. nude women ymca locker room -little boy got lost at the ymca

Um, yeah...he was "lost." Don't worry, I doubt he's damaged for life. Well, I guess it all depends on what he saw.

11. my name is shelly

Hey...me too! Well, except with an extra e.

12. sanity tattoo parlors in madison

Is this a problem in Madison? Are there insane tattoo parlors there?

13. sarah palin naked boobs

I KNEW IT!!

14. today your birthday i'm not with you

Well, screw you too.

15. treadmill vs racquetball

Racquetball kicks a treadmill's ass...every time.

16. snacks to serve at playdate

This one made me laugh, because the post that sent them here is this one, 50 Ways to Be a Cool Mom, and I was making fun of serving hummus on rice cakes, or something.

17. what is foreplay hummingbird

Again with the hummingbird foreplay. I would like to know what this is too. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

18. whats it called when you are the same age as your birthday number

Um...it's called your AGE? What the hell kind of dumb question is that?

19. head panty

Hey, at least they're not calling you "head dickweed."

And finally...

20. your boobs are danger to my sanity

Well, thank you. I think.