Sunday, September 30, 2007

Homecoming Pictures

Well, I don't know anything about the dance other than Danni said they had a great time! Dad went and picked her up around 12:30am. I had no idea, I crashed early. I woke up with a start around 3:45am and had to go and check her bed to make sure she was there. :) Anyway, I've wavered about posting pictures of the kids, since I don't know any of them except Danni and T, but I figure they're all over My Space by now, so it can't hurt if I post them here. Just FYI, this is not my house. (I wish!)


Danni & T - Looks just like last year's pic,
except they're both a bit taller. :)


The Girls


The Group

Saturday, September 29, 2007

William Tell Overture, The Mom Version

So an hour and a half ago, I write the last post. Then I see this, which makes me giggle hysterically, and now I feel better. Holy mood swings, Batman! And no, it's NOT that time of the month!

Homecoming Weekend and the Blahs

Last night was the kind of night where I earned my "Bad Mommy" title. You see, I signed up to be a ... band parent helper, I guess you would call it, for the homecoming football game. In my case, since Danni is on guard, I volunteer to be "guard mom." Which would be fine, except there are three of us, and in all honesty, there really isn't anything for us to do. We could pass out the bottled water to them, except that they have a water crew that already does that. Basically, there are three of us standing around, watching them warm up, on alert in case someone has a uniform problem. In which case, I would be no help anyway, as I can barely sew an errant button back on.

As I was standing there, snarky thoughts were going through my head, such as:

That dark purple makeup they (guard) wear makes them look like someone punched them in both cheeks. When they're down on the football field it's barely noticible, but up close they just look scary.

Why do these girls need false eyelashes? This thought is fueled by the fact that in four games, we've bought three sets of the stupid things, because daughter keeps losing them. Trust me, when you're in the stands and they're down on the field, NO ONE can see their stupid EYELASHES!

Since it was homecoming, there were a lot of alumni band members there. Most of them are recent graduates, some of them ASU band members, who are really just freshman geeks in the ASU band, but of course when they come back to their high school, they all think they are the shit. Well...I am here to tell you that you are not. What you are is 18 and 19 year old punks. I asked one of the tuba players if they still played the Bud song (a staple for us when I was in ASU band), and his answer was "huh?" I said "You know, the Budweiser theme song?" He said.."uh, no...we don't play that." He didn't even know what I was talking about. Who are these guys? I know, we've become so PC that college students aren't allowed to play the Budweiser song, because it "promotes drinking." Who are we kidding here? I know what the ASU band does after games, and it doesn't involve root beer and pizza. Well, maybe pizza.

I don't know why, but everything was getting on my nerves last night, from the permanent bitch-face that the snotty, sorority girl-wannabe guard instructor seems to wear, to the "armchair coaches" behind me in the stands, to the girls I passed while I was going to the snack bar who were all "There's gonna be a girl fight!" and "oh no she din't" and "I'm gonna kick her ass!" Sigh. High school is just so...high school. I had no patience for stupid high school crap even when I was in high school, and strangely enough, 25 years later I have even less patience for it.

*Attention before you read the next part: If anyone reading this was ever homecoming queen, or part of the homecoming court, please skip this next paragraph, or if you don't skip it, just don't hate me.*

At halftime, of course we had the whole announcing the homecoming queen, king, and the various other class princes and princesses. Here's where my eyes roll to the back of my head. I hate this stuff. I hated it when I was in high school and we (the band) had to stand on the field and play some stupid song while all these people walked past and found out if they won or not. The football coach apparently thinks it's dumb too, as he won't let any players that are nominated come out at halftime for this illustrious ceremony. They have to have stand-in people. To me, it's just completely pointless. I mean, what high school really needs is one more popularity contest so that two people can feel like they are lords of the school, and the rest of everyone can feel like they're not quite as good. And now, from an adult perspective, is seems even more ridiculous.

So here's the part where I'm a bad mom. Or at least a bad band mom. I deserted my post. Remember how I said that as "guard moms" we didn't really do anything? Well, I bailed and went and sat with Steve and my parents. (Shannon and Kylie stayed home, thank you Shannon, I love you!) Here's another thing that bothered me: I was volunteering, right? So we walked in the gate behind the band, but then the almighty queen band mom informed me that if you didn't have a pass (what are these secret passes?), you had to buy a ticket. Really? I'm volunteering to help, but I have to pay to get into the game? Well, guess what? If I have to pay to get into the game, I'm damn well going to sit and watch the game. How selfish am I? I'm just not one of these gung-ho band parents that has to be involved in every game and every competition. It's funny too...I was in band in high school, and we never had parent helpers. We had a few "band-aides" (get it?) who were also students, whose job it was to dole out water and carry equipment. Our parents sat in a group in the stands, and cheered us on when we performed. That was it. Is this part of that "helicopter parenting" phenomenon, where we need 40 parent volunteers for a single football game for a band of 160 kids? It just really seems like big-time overkill to me. But then I feel like a bad mother because I'm not all gung-ho about it. Where does this mother guilt come from? My husband has never volunteered to help with any part of band. Do you think he feels guilty about that, sitting in the stands watching the game? Hell no! In fact, volunteering would never even cross his mind. It's not that that's necessarily bad, but why do I feel so guilty about this? Arrggghh.

*Small footnote, team wins homecoming game, I think the final was 42-0. We really have an easy schedule so far. Football team boosts record to 4-1.

Which brings us to this morning. I read over what I've written so far, and sit here and wonder why I have such a bad attitude. This is the "blah" part. We're leaving for vacation Monday morning, and there's a lot to do. In fact, right now Steve is out in the garage, changing the oil and filters in the van, and basically getting it ready to drive to San Diego. There is a lot to do in here: laundry, cleaning up (because I want to come home to a clean house), starting to think about packing, etc. Yet, I'm sitting here with no desire to do any of it. What I really want to do is go back upstairs, lay on my bed and watch the three episodes of Beverly Hills 90210 (I know!) that are on the Ti-faux right now. I'm not even excited about going on vacation. Why? I don't know. Maybe because a vacation with a 5 year-old isn't really a vacation? Why do I sit here and think of what a pain she's going to be instead of how much she loves Shamu? Why can't I just enjoy my kids, instead of getting mad at every little thing? Sometimes I worry that my kids are going to look back on their childhood, and remember me as always mad about something. I want to be that "fun mom" who really enjoys her kids, but I'm just not. And then here comes the guilt again. What the hell is wrong with me?

So, tonight is the homecoming dance. Right now, Danni has guard practice until noon. Then she's going to come home, shower, and spend the afternoon at T's house (the boy she's going to the dance with), and another couple. The four of them are spending the afternoon at T's house, then I think she's going to come home and get her dress and stuff and then go over to the other girl's house to get ready. Then other girl's mom is going to take all four of them to the dance. Hopefully someone will take pictures, because she won't be here in her dress for me to take pictures. I'm sure someone will. On the bright side, we do have our bowling league tonight, so at least adult conversation. Yay.

I so seriously want to go crawl back into bed. What is wrong with me? Steve's working on the van, Kylie's watching Saturday morning TV, and Shannon is still asleep. Nothing's stopping me really, except that guilt again, that I should be doing something to get ready for the trip. How can I go back up there and lie down when Steve is out sweating over my van? And the thing is, he wouldn't even mind if I did go back upstairs. Sigh. Ok, I guess I'm done venting now. Somehow I don't feel any better.

Almost forgot...last night before the game started, I was at the very top of the west stands, and there was this gorgeous sunset.


Thursday, September 27, 2007

Softball Game

Since it seems like my posts have almost all been about Kylie or Danielle, this one is going to be about Shannon. Poor Shannon, middle kids are the Rodney Dangerfields of the family...no respect.

Shannon plays softball, and quite well. I'm not just saying that because I'm her mom. She's good! She's on a 14U team, and these kids have been playing together for a couple of years. They just moved up to 14U this season. Anyway, I got to go to my first game tonight. This was their fourth game of the season, but because I work evenings, it was my first. I took half a night off work so I could go, yay. It was a good game to catch: Her team, the Diamond Devils, won 10-5. They're 3-1 so far! This was also my first time trying out the new camera. I'm still trying to learn the settings, so hopefully these came out ok. She played catcher the first two innnings, and then left field after that. She's also the leadoff batter.


Puttin' on the catcher's gear


Hi Mom!


Laying down a really sweet bunt...she beat the throw too!


Our future softball player


Sighting of a small baboon in a tree.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Quick Addendum to the Zoo Post

See, Jen is awesome! She did take the holding hands picture, so I totally stole it. If you click over to her blog, there are a couple more, including the intrusive, snack-coveting geese.



Speaking of zoos, time to go pick up the baboon Kylie from preschool. Is it time for me to go to work yet?

Hooked On Phonics Works for Him!

I saw this last night, and couldn't decide if it was hilarious, or if I was embarrassed that this man is the leader of our country:

When Words Get In the Way, Bush Goes Phonetic

Ok, some of those countries are hard to pronounce, y'all. Never mind that he's been president for an excruciating almost 7 years now (Dear Lord, thank you that it's almost over), and that he's seen and said these words how many times? And who wouldn't need the phonetic pronunciation for Nicolas Sarkozy, the French president? Well, except for most of us, because as far as I can tell, it's pronounced just like it's spelled. Here's what I can't figure out: If they can give him phonetic spellings for names and places that are too hard for him to pronounce, then why in the name of all that is good and holy can't they phonetically spell out nuclear for him? NU-KLEE-ER.

The other day, I was picking up all the cards from the Balderdash game off the floor (because Kylie thinks it's fun to get random games out of the closet and scatter the cards everywhere), and I was reading a few of them. I came across this word: Mumpsimus - Noun 1. "Adherence to or persistence in an erroneous use of language, memorization, practice, belief, etc., out of habit or obstinacy." Our illustrious leader and his continued mispronunciation of the word "nuclear" leapt immediately to mind. The question becomes, is it habit, or obstinacy? Or perhaps stupidity? In any case, I learned a new word, so I have fulfilled my brain quota for the day. Woohoo!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Zoo Adventures

Ah, Fall. That time of the year in Phoenix when it finally stays under 100 degrees, and we bravely venture outside of our air-conditioned abodes. My friend Jen sent me a text message this morning, asking if Kylie and I would like to join her and Gracie (age 21 months) at the zoo. I was thinking it was still a little too hot for my tastes (then again, anything above 75 is a little too warm for me), but since we hadn't been to the zoo since the temperature rose above 85 (which was probably sometime in February), I said, sure! (Hi Jen!!)

It turned out to be fun...it was warm, but not really too warm, so all of the animals were out and about. There was an orangutan baby that was really cute. I'd be able to show you a picture of it if I hadn't been way too lazy to get my camera out of my purse, which was in the bottom of Jen's stroller. We saw meerkats, the tiger, lions, spider monkeys, otters, baboons (I said, "Look Kylie, those are your people!"), rhinos, giraffes, and the geese at the snack bar that really want some of your food, and might possibly attack you to get it. I actually did take one picture of Kylie on the merry-go-round. Oh no, I didn't squat my lazy ass under the stroller to get my camera out...I used my cellphone, so forgive the quality:



The merry-go-round they have is actually pretty cool. Every animal on it is different. You'll notice Kylie was riding the panda bear. And for those of you who are going to nitpick and tell me that it looks like there are two dolphins behind her...that's actually a shark and a dolphin. So there. I would have taken a picture of Grace on her animal, but her ride turned out to be mom, whom she clung to ferociously as they rode on the merry-go-round bench. Grace is still not too crazy about rides. In fact, since I only have the one picture, I have no proof that Jen and Grace were actually with us. You'll just have to take my word for it. Well, wait...I do have a picture of Kylie and Grace at the zoo together!:



Hmm...I wonder what that face was all about. Anyway, you totally wouldn't even know that was a different zoo trip altogether...unless you noticed that Kylie's wearing different clothes, long pants, has her hair in braids, etc. Gracie's hair is a lot longer now! Actually, I wish I would have taken a picture of them when we first got there today, because Kylie kept insisiting that Grace hold her hand, and I was walking behind them, and it would have been a really cute picture. I'm such a loser for not taking that picture. Anyway, today was a perfect time for Kylie to practice her big sister skills (which she will never, ever get to use in real life, ever), by saying "Come here Grace...c'mon Grace...hold my hand Grace!!" I finally figured it out though...she is so used to having her big sisters boss her around that she grabbed this opportunity to be able to boss someone else around for a change. Luckily, Grace is little enough that she doesn't seem to mind. I'm sure that will change, someday. I can't wait for the day when Kylie tries to tell Grace to do something, and Grace gives her the big eyeroll. Ha.

Anyway, about 11am it really did start to get kind of hot, and we decided to call it a day. When I got home, I decided to check the 10 day weather forecast for San Diego. On the day we're supposed to go to Sea World, which is next Tuesday, it's supposed to be sunny and 69 degrees. 69 degrees!! With an ocean breeze! Heaven!! In fact, the whole time we're there, it's supposed to be sunny with a high right around 70 degrees. Let us pause a moment, and give thanks:

Dear Lord,
Thank you so much for the beautiful, cool weather that it appears San Diego will be having next week. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. I promise I will try and be good from now on. No, really...stop laughing...I mean it. I'll really try to be patient and not yell at the kids, and I'll only dip into hubby's Xanax when things are really, really stressful. Amen.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Kylie Empties Her Brain

I work four nights a week, Mon-Thurs. On these nights, Steve puts Kylie to bed, as I don't get home until around 11:30pm. He has gotten into the habit of taking her upstairs, getting pajamas on and putting her in our bed while he lies down with her. After she falls asleep, he carries her into her own bed, where she stays for the remainder of the night. It seems to work out well for us. On the nights I'm home (Fri, Sat, Sun) we do the same thing.

Kylie has to empty her brain before she goes to sleep. This means that we lie down, turn off the lights, put the TV on something boring to her (like WPT poker) and she will go to sleep. But first, she talks. She talks a lot, and about the weirdest things sometimes. Last night when we laid down, I had my laptop on, and when she started talking, on a whim, I opened up Wordpad real quick and starting typing what she was saying. It went a lot like this:

Kylie - "Mom, are my dreams inside my brain?" (We've had lots of talks about how dreams aren't real, they're kind of like little movies inside your head when you're asleep.)

Me - "Yes, they are."

Kylie - "Are they in a line?"

Me (confused) - "Are they in a line?"

Kylie - "Yeah..." She makes a little circle on the left side of her forehead with her forefinger and thumb of her left hand, and holds her right forefinger up straight in front of the right side of her forehead. It looks like she's making the number 10 on her forehead with her fingers.

"These are the bad line on the right, these are good...can you feel your brain? If someone looks inside your head can they see your brain? Daddy, try and feel your brain like this." She puts both her hands against her temples.

"Guys, you have to smile when you're asleep. Mommy please smile when you're asleep, because that will make you have good dreams. I like you to smile when you have good dreams. Ok."

Then she turns over on her other side, clasps both of her hands together and says "One, two, three four, I declare a fum war" She's having a thumb war with herself. Then she counts to ten in Spanish several times.

Steve - "Ky, is your brain empty yet?"

Kylie - "No, my dreams are in there!"

She's quiet for a few minutes. Then she says, "Mommy, why is it a long time to get your dreams out, to sleep?"

Me - "What do you mean?"

Kylie - "Well, it takes long for little kids to make their dreams come in really fast. Mommy, smile when you're asleep so you can see me in my dream."

Now she's making a little growling noise. I say "What's that?"

She says, "That's my growl because my toe itches. Can someone scratch my toe?"

I think Steve attempts to scratch her toe. "Daddy, that's not scratching, that's tickling!"

Steve - "Kylie, it's time to be quiet and go to sleep now.

And within about 3 minutes, she's fast asleep. According to Steve, this goes on every night. And she comes up with the weirdest stuff sometimes. A bizarre journey inside the mind of a 5 year-old.

Zumba Zumba...Ouch

Two unrelated subjects here, but the word Zumba is fun, so I had to use it for a title. Wait, now that I think of it, I have three unrelated subjects to talk about:

1) My little blog and I are starting to get a complex, because I have realized that there are a LOT of funny people blogging. I like to think I'm funny, but these people really are. I've been reading a lot few of other people's blogs when I should be working. Here's just one example that nearly made me pee my pants...read this lady's post about talking with the computer generated IKEA receptionist, or whatever she is. The Underpaid Kept Woman. The post is called Conversation With IKEA Anna. I about died laughing. Or maybe I'm just really easily entertained.

2) The title of the entry, Zumba. At the gym this morning, I took an hour-long class called Zumba. It's a Latin/Salsa/aerobics/dance...thing. This class is only offered at 9am on Monday mornings. Two Monday mornings ago, I was there, doing my stupid, boring treadmill thing, and the people in the class looked like they were having fun. So I decided to try it. I'm here to tell you, I have never felt more uncoordinated! I was definitely not a dancer in any of my previous lives. The instructor said the most important thing is that you keep moving, and I did, for the whole hour. But I think by the end, I was pretty much making up my own steps, because I couldn't get the hang of hers. She (the instructor) looked awesome doing her dance steps, I looked like a dork. Thankfully, I wasn't the only one. I was telling one of the other moms about the class while waiting for Kylie to get out of preschool, and she said "Just pretend you've had 4 beers and a couple shots of tequila, and just shake it!" I just may do that next time. There was a lot of hip gyrating and dancing in circles and sexy boob-shaking moves, which I'm sure look oh-so attractive when a fat girl does them. Speaking of which, right before the music started, this little blond girl who was about as big as my thigh came in and stood near me. Luckily, she wasn't so coordinated either, or I would have had to step on her. Anyway, I made it through the hour, and an hour in that class was way more fun than 15 minutes on a treadmill. It went by fast, which surprised me. I may even go back next Monday. I'm glad they only offer it once a week though, because I think it will probably take me that long to recover. I can stationary bike and treadmill and weight machine with the best of them, but this class used muscles that are now saying "Hey, wtf??" at me. I am going to be sore tomorrow.

3) I've decided to make the third subject, which is Kylie Empties Her Brain, another post that I will write a bit later, mainly because I have to pee, and also because my posts always seem quite long.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

My New Camera

Let me start out by saying that my afternoon yesterday wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. Danielle was not happy about losing her cell phone, but she didn't react as badly as I assumed she would. We all went shopping, we found shoes to go with the homecoming dress (on clearance for $10, booyah!), got oil and various filters and spark plugs so Steve can tune up the van before we drive to San Diego, and picked up some other things we needed as well. We went to four different stores, and Kylie surprised me by actually being pretty good! Later on, some friends of ours called and invited us over to watch the Dbacks game, luring me with promises of margaritas. We went, it was fun, Dbacks won (!), and the day ended much better than it started.

So, on to my new camera. First let me explain that Steve's job is in sales for Computer Company. I complain about his job at times, because he works partially on commission, which does not mesh well with my anal-retentive need to know exactly how much money is coming in, exactly how much we're going to have, what bills I need to pay, how much we can save (if any), etc. Sometimes it's a good month, sometimes it's a not-so-good month, and this plays havoc with my nerves.

That being said, there are some nice perks to the job. There is a bowl game that his company sponsors, which we get free tickets to every year, along with the employee tailgate party beforehand, which is always fun. (Note to self: Take a warm jacket this year. I nearly froze my butt off last year! In Arizona!) They also have a company picnic thing at a big waterpark here every summer, where everything is free to us, which is also fun. But, the nicest thing is that when you do sales, (at least at Computer Company), you can win stuff. They have all these different vendors (like IBM, AMD, Fuji, etc.), and these companies will hold contests for the sales people, like if you sell so many of our company's widgets this month, we'll put you in a drawing for Really Nice Prize. Steve has been with Computer Company almost 4 years now, and he's won some nice stuff over that time. We've gotten, among other things, a 32" flat screen TV, a 21" monitor for the computer, a laptop, gift cards to restaurants, Visa gift cards, Target gift cards, and even cash.

On Friday he came home with something really cool that he won, which is a Sony Cybershot 8.1 MP digital camera. I'm just excited that we got this right before we're going on vacation, and if I get some good pictures, I might...just might...try making a scrapbook. You see, all the good moms have their picture organized into beautiful, journaled, themed scrapbooks. My pictures all are thrown in a box, or still in digital form on Shutterfly. I think I tried to make a scrapbook once of the first year of Danielle's life, but back then we just called them photo albums. I did actually write some stuff in there though, which was sort of like journaling, but I'm not sure journaling was a word back then. However, those pictures are in one of those photo albums with the sticky pages, which I've now heard are very, very bad for your pictures. You now have to have your pictures in the really expensive Creative Memories albums, with some sort of paper in them that is good for your pictures and won't make them fall apart and end civilization as we know it. Because apparently the pictures I have in the album with the sticky pages will, at some point, self-destruct. I'm not sure why, but they will. Just ask a Creative Memories consultant, they'll tell you.

Anyway, sometime this week I have to actually read the instruction manual that came with my our camera so I can learn how to use it. (Notice how even though Steve won the camera, I keep refering to it as mine? I just realized that.) There are tons of different settings and features and bells and whistles on it. I'm sure it can do some really cool things, it would probably be good if I we knew about them.

Quick sports update:

  • High school team wins this week, 42-21, boosting their record to 3-1.
  • ASU beats Oregon State last night, coming from behind to win 44-32. They're now 4-0!
  • The Dbacks are poised to win the NL West, beating the Dodgers 6-2 last night. 6 more games to go, and we're leading by 2.5 games. Yeah!
  • The Cardinals play the Ravens today. I will think positive thoughts, which may or may not help. Um...go Cardinals!

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Yes, Polar Bears Are Cute...But They're Cuter When I'm Awake

A couple of days ago, I was thinking of changing the name of the blog from Bad Mommy to something else. But this morning, I'm feeling like the title fits. I almost hesitated to post how I'm really feeling about my kids this morning, but if not here, where? If I'm being really honest, I'm not really liking any of them right now.

Let's back up a bit. Yesterday evening, we had a little family meeting to finalize the details of our San Diego trip, which is Oct 1st - 4th. We hadn't quite decided what to do on the 4th, and we had it narrowed down to either the San Diego Zoo, or Legoland. We looked at both websites, and we settled on the zoo. Steve's never been there, I haven't been there since I was about 10, and none of the kids have ever been there. It's cheaper, closer to the hotel, and they close at 5pm, which means we might actually get home around midnight. While looking at the website, we saw they have a few live cams, and one of them is the Polar Bear Plunge. Of course, when we looked at it last night, we couldn't see anything, because it was dark.

So this morning I'm peacefully sleeping, and I hear this little voice:

"Mommy, can we look at the polar bears now?"

I open my eyes and look at the clock...wow, 7:30...I never sleep this late. Danielle has band practice at 9am. I don't have to get up quite yet, except Kylie wants to look at the polar bears, and she's not going away. I tell her to get the laptop, which is right next to the bed, thinking I can turn the thing on and lie back down. Well, booting up a computer and finding website isn't all that easy with a child top of your arm. Is it bad that by this time I'm already annoyed? And that Steve somehow able to sleep through this? So I finally get the thing up, and since it's only 7:30, no bears on the cam right now. But now she wants to look at the other cams, and the kids area, and she wants to play the games they have on the kids section, but most of them require reading so she needs help with all of them, and it's Saturday morning and I'm still in bed, and I've been awake for all of 7 minutes, and she just won't stop talking. I swear, living with this kid is like a stream-of-conciousness novel. The amount of words she can say and the number of subjects she can cover in a 7 minute period is nothing short of amazing. And by amazing, I mean she drives me nuts. I always thought that having a child "later in life" would mean you have more patience, but I think I actually have less patience with her than I had with the other two when they were little. And by less, I mean almost none. I don't know why this is, I wish it was something I could change.

After a while, I go downstairs to find that the living room is a mess. Actually, it's the same mess that was there last night. I had gone downstairs last night to straighten it up, but when I started, Shannon looks at me from her permanent position in front of the computer and says, "Hey mom, do you want me to straighten up the living room?" Yes, I swear she said that. She is actually quite helpful when she wants to be. So of course I said "Yes, that would be great, thank you." I went in and loaded the dishwasher, and before I went back upstairs I said, "Shay, are you sure you're going to do the living room?" She says, "oh yeah mom, I'm sure." I think I probably asked her this a total of four times, and she affirmed each time. I didn't even ask her to do this, she volunteered! So I went down this morning, and everything is exactly the way it was when I went to bed. Cleats, socks, shoes, paper, crayons, toys still on the floor...soda cans on the computer desk (yes, my kids drink soda, again, bad mommy), and general stuff on the entertainment center that shouldn't be there. I looked around, and I was annoyed. I went up to Shannon's room, nudged her sleeping form with my foot, and informed her that she didn't clean up the living room last night, like she told me about 4 times she was going to do. Her reaction is "Oh my gosh, I forgot!!" Well, since this is her reaction to just about everything these days, it doesn't make me any less annoyed. The thing that bugs me is that I was set to clean the room myself, but then she told me she would, so I left it. Don't tell me you're going to do something and then not do it. Grrrrrrrr. Am I making too much of this? Probably. So now I'm in a mood, and so is she.

Steve took Danielle to band practice at 9am. She leaves this note on the white board: "Can we please get some dental floss? I don't like having my gums all inflamed, gross!"

Ok, we have dental floss. Can you tell she had her six month checkup this week? Why don't you just ask where it is? Ask your sister, she uses it, she'll tell you we have some. While I know you would like to blame your lack of flossing, and the subsequent lecture from the dentist on someone other than yourself, the fact is that we do have it in the house, you just don't use it. Grrrrrrrr.

To make my morning just a little brighter, I decided, as I do most weekends, to check out their grades online. Our school system has this thing where you can follow your kids' grades online. You pick the school, enter their ID number and a PIN, and you can see each class average, along with all the assignments and individual grades on each assignment. Shannon is getting all As and Bs, which is great. I pointed out to her a couple of her Bs are really high, like 88 and 89, and if she works hard this last week of the quarter, those could easily be As also. She's doing really well and I tell her so. Then I check Danielle's grades. This kid was an A student all through elementary school and jr high. Now, there's band and gospel choir and dance and the computer and texting on her phone, just a whole lot of distractions. It's not like she's failing anything, but she's not doing nearly as well as she's capable of doing. I look and see that she failed to turn in two math homework assignments this past week. We've already discussed that if I see a zero on an assignment, meaning she didn't turn it in, she's going to lose her cell phone and computer privileges. I also see that she's missing an assignment in biology, and two in Spanish, and that she got 40/90 on another assignment in Spanish. She was getting an A in that class a couple of weeks ago, now it's a C. So Steve has now gone to pick her up from band practice, and she's going to be informed that her cell phone has been confiscated. She's going to come into the house with a huge attitude, and I know I'm not going to handle it well. It's already not been a good morning, and I'm in no mood to deal with that. And we're supposed to go shopping for shoes to match her homecoming dress this afternoon. Yay. In fact, we need several things, so we were planning a family trip to Target, which is always guaranteed to raise my blood pressure, because of Kylie and her "Mom, can I have" disease. The answer is always no, but that sure doesn't stop her from trying. Oh, the books all say if you're consistant and don't give in, eventually they'll stop asking. Well, none of the people who wrote those books ever met Kylie. I know the sensible thing to do is leave her home with Daddy and just take the other two, but he's home with her four evenings a week and Sunday morning, while I'm at work, and I don't think that's fair to him.

Is there a patience class I can take somewhere? Because somewhere along the way, I've really lost mine. I don't know when my tolerance got so low, but it has. I need a vacation, and I don't mean one to San Diego with the kids. I mean one by myself, with a big bottle of Kahlua and the first three seasons of Beverly Hills, 90210 on DVD (my 90210 addiction is a sickness all its own...I love you, Soapnet!), somewhere away from here. Oh good....Steve and Danielle are home. Let the bitching commence. Sigh.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Tales of McBitchin' and Helicopters

Every Thursday, I get together with two of my friends and their respective children for a playdate. My friend K has a son the same age as Kylie, and my friend J has a daughter who is 21 months. The three of us have bonded over our trials of having older children (teens and almost-teens) and then having the little ones. We tend to meet at McDonald's, since the kids can play and we can sit and talk. We go there mainly because it's still really hot outside, and being indoors is preferable. When it gets cooler, I'm sure we'll be heading to the park, the zoo, etc, for our weekly outing. Last night I was telling my co-worker, um...Bob...that J's husband refers to our weekly get-together as the Sit and Bitch. As I was leaving work last night, Bob said "have fun with your McBitching", or something like that. I think that's how I'll refer to it from now on, because we all thought it was pretty funny this morning.

Anyway...speaking of McDonald's, I have a question. I'm not a coffee drinker, so perhaps I'm just not in the know. But there is a poster in McDonald's advertising their fantastic (?) new coffee, and on the poster it says "We'll add the cream and sugar for you!" Is this a big selling point for coffee-drinkers? I'm just wondering. I mean, how hard can it possibly be to add your own cream and sugar? Would you choose McDonald's over say... some other place that serves coffee, because they'll add your cream and sugar for you? Just wondering.

I'm at work, and I just got a call from Shannon. She has a softball game at 6pm. It goes like this:

Me: "911, what is your emergency?"

Shannon: "Haha. Mom, where are my cleats?"

Me: "Well, the last time I saw them was when I asked you for the sixth time to pick them up off the living room floor yesterday morning. I'm sorry, I don't know what you did with them after that. In your room, perhaps?"

Shannon: "Fine Mom...bye." click

Me: (To the empty line) "Yeah, I love you too. Have a good game!"

I have to tell you, that call just gave me the warm fuzzies. Someday they'll thank me for making them pick up their own stuff and be responsible for themselves and do things themselves...right? Right?? I always thought I was mean for not doing things for them. One occasion sticks out in my mind from last year:
Shannon was in sixth grade, and had lost the instructions for some project she was supposed to do for class. She wanted me to talk to her teacher and get the instructions for her again. Me, being the loving parent that I am, said,

"No way Missy...you lost it, you talk to your teacher yourself."

She whined, "But Mooommmm...she'll be maaddd at meeeee!" As I have a hard time resisting this sort of approach, I then said in my sweetest voice,

"Well, perhaps you should organize yourself better so you don't keep losing things. Now get in there and ask for another copy."

They think I'm mean sometimes. But you know what? I don't really care. I swear, I've actually heard this from one of my children:

"But Princess's mom does _______ for her!!" And I've actually replied,

"Well, I'm not Princess's mom, now am I?" (Just one of the many, many things that come out of my mouth that make me think I've turned into my own mother. By the way, I love you, Mom.)

Anyway, the point is that I've discovered that making my kids do for themselves may not be such a bad thing after all. I'm definitely not going to be one of these people!

Helicopter Parents
You're Going On a Job Interview With Them? Really?

I'm more like a Stealth Parent...in and out of there so fast, you never even saw me. Ha! Danielle had her first job interview (and subsequently, her first job) this past summer, and it would have never, ever even occurred to me to go into the interview with her! God, seriously. What is wrong with people?

On a completely unrelated note...Survivor starts tonight! Yayyyy!!!!!

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Friday Night Lights

The good guys win again last night to boost their record to 2-1. The final score was 20-13, but it really wasn't that close, as the other team put up a Hail Mary in the end zone with no time left and someone happened to catch it, so up until the last second, it was 20-7. It wasn't all that pretty, but a W is a W, so we'll take it.

It's supposed to cool down a bit this week (and by cool down, I mean maybe our highs will be out of the 100s), so hopefully the evenings will start getting cooler soon. Watching a football game in 100+ degree heat (even if it is dark) isn't all that pleasant. I know, I know, think of the kids in their pads and helmets and band uniforms and all that. Well, they're young and they can take it. Then there's me, with a cranky 5 year-old who wants to go home (at halftime). This is after the first half of course, in which she wouldn't stop running around on the bleachers to find "friends" to "play" with. I wonder if these complete strangers that she sits next to and starts talking to consider her to be their "friend" too. Reason #72 why I'm a bad mommy: I let my child talk to strangers. I don't force my child to sit on the bleacher next to me the entire game. It's just not possible; that kid only has one speed, and it's like 2X fast forward. I am keeping an eye on her, and if it looks like she's bothering someone, I make her come back with us. Strangely, most people don't mind if she sits next to them. Go figure. But now that it's the second half and she's tired, the whining starts. I'm already hot and sweaty, and she wants to cling to me/climb on me/sit on me. I love ya baby, and I know you're tired, but yuck. So I gave her my seat cushion to use for a pillow, and she's actually tiny enough to lie down on the bleachers. And she was thrilled. Look:




While we're talking high school football, I think I have a few suggestions that could improve the game. First of all, you know the benches on the sidelines where the players sit? I think they should have an extra bench on the sideline where all the players' fathers who want to coach can sit. That way, they can all do their coaching from down there, instead of yelling from the stands. These guys know how to coach the team better than the actual coach anyway, so they should all be down there on the field, all yelling at their boys at the same time. Chaos would ensue, and it would probably be quite entertaining.

Also, the cheerleaders should go...somewhere else...far away. Behind one of the goalposts at the end of the field would be nice. That way, when they started shrieking something like "COME ON CROWD, YELL CHS...C...H...S!!!!" over and over and over and over, it wouldn't make me want to run down there in front of them and yell, "SHUT UP, I'M TRYING TO WATCH THE GAME!" I realize this is a function of the stadium being small, and them being in two lines on the track right in front of us. But damn, it's annoying. I like ASU games much better, because the stadium is big and I can't hear the cheerleaders at all from where we sit...heck, most of the time I can't even see them, and believe me, the game is not any different. Ok, perhaps I have a little bias against cheerleaders. Having three daughters, I would much rather seem them out there playing or performing in their own games or competitions, rather than jumping around screeching "Go boys....yayyyyy boyyyys!" Barf. In fact, one of them, I think it was Shannon, used to have a little tshirt that said "Real girls don't cheer, they PLAY!" I loved that shirt. Speaking of cheerleaders, at halftime they had all these elementary-aged girls perform some cheers. I think they took part in some sort of camp, and they got to "perform" at halftime at the high school game. They were really cute, especially the little ones, but all I could think of was "Hey look, it's a gathering of the FMGA*."

Oh, I can think of one other thing that would make our high school games much better. Air conditioning. A domed stadium, you know, like the Cardinals just got. Hey, at least our team wins some games along the way. The Cardinals are 0-1 so far. Now you tell me, who deserves the nice stadium? :) Ok, so a multi-million dollar facility for a public high school is probably asking a bit much. I'd settle for a nice breeze.

*Future Mean Girls of America

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Kylie's Birthday Party

On Sunday, we had Kylie's birthday party at Toy Town. It's a really cute little place with a bunch of different playhouses made to look like different buildings. There's a doctor's office, a dress shop, a workshop/fix it place, a Domino's pizza, a grocery store, a fire station, a police station, and a house, and they're all set up like a little town. They all have their own dress up clothes and toys that go inside each place. They also have a small bouncy house. The kids had a really good time, and none of them really wanted to leave, but you pay for 90 minutes, and that's how long you get to stay. :) On the weekends they only do private parties, so your party gets the place to themselves. During the week, they have open/free play. Well, not free, as it's $8 per kid, but during the week you can stay as long as you want for that $8. They had some party specials going on, I had 14 kids for $109, and brought my own cake. I thought that was pretty good, considering the price of a lot of other places. This was Kylie's first actual birthday party with friends, as opposed to just a family thing at someone's house. After a whole year of going to other kids' parties from her preschool class last year, I wasn't going to get away with just the family thing again. Anyway, a couple of pictures from the party below, and then the link to all the pictures from the party, in case you're just that bored. :)


Kylie and her friend Sloan makin' pizza

You want fries with that?


Putting the candles on her cake

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

September 11th

Yes, today is September 11th. Do you know what happened on September 11th? That's right, my dad was born, in 1936. My dad is 71 years old today. He's diabetic, been through prostate cancer, a mild heart attack, angioplasty, and he's still plugging along. I am so lucky and grateful to still have both my parents in my life. They are the best grandparents to my kids that I ever could have wished for. It's heart-warming to me to see how my dad has softened over the years, even from first grandchild Danielle to Kylie. And they have a fourth granddaughter also, my brother's daughter Mackenzie, who is almost 2. I only hope that I can do as well as a parent as they did raising my brother and me, and I hope they are proud of the job I am doing.

Happy Birthday, Dad. I love you.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Aren't Weekends Supposed to be Relaxing?

So, this was my weekend. Friday night, we went to the high school football game, only to watch our team be trounced 39-0. Kind of a disappointment, considering we were (and that's a big WERE) ranked #2 in the state and went to the state semi-finals last year. Well, hopefully they can rebound, but I'm not holding my breath. So, in lighter news, I took a couple of pictures of Danielle in her guard uniform during warmups. Good thing she doesn't know about this blog, or she might just kill me. I just have to mention real quick about these uniforms. Their school colors are blue and white. So of course the guard uniforms are...crushed velvet Barney purple? Hmmmm.
















In fact, I have a video of this warmup, which I'm going to attempt to post...hopefully this will work. See if you can catch the dirty look she throws me at about 8 seconds into it. :)


They really have a good time at the games. I'm happy she's involved in band...some of my best memories from high school and college are from band. Luckily, Steve doesn't know about this blog either, or I'm sure he'd take the opportunity once again, to call me a band geek. Yeah, and what of it?

Then Saturday night, Steve and I took Danielle to the ASU/Colorado game. Steve had to wear his Colorado jersey, of course, but he didn't stick out as much as I thought he would. There were a LOT of Colorado fans there. Luckily they all went home disappointed as ASU won 33-14. They had me a little worried when they were down 14-0 in the first quarter though. Plus, 5, count 'em FIVE personal foul penalties. Maybe we should rename them the Thug Devils, because I know I saw a couple of punches thrown. Dennis Erickson made it clear this won't be tolerated. Ha. Considering his track record, he probably taught them the punch-throwing technique. Here's Danielle in her ASU gear for the game. I swear with her sunglasses on and her little mini backpack she was wearing, she could have passed for a freshman on the ASU campus. (SOB!)






Well, I was going to add on here about Kylie's party on Sunday, but since I'm off work in exactly 7 minutes, I guess that can be another post tomorrow. :)

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Coupon Hell

I am in coupon hell. What does this mean, you ask? Well, a couple of years ago, a well-meaning teacher's aide at my kids' school turned me on to this site called The Grocery Game. There are other sites that do the same thing, but basically it teaches about serious couponing, stockpiling good deals, etc. The website will match up the coupons with the store sales for you, for maximum savings.

When I first discovered this method of shopping, I loved it. I really loved the fact that we never really ran out of anything. What, you're out of dishwasher soap? Well, there are five more bottles on the shelf in the garage that I probably got for about 77 cents each. However, as with most things in my life...I start out like a house on fire, learning something new, all excited about it...and then I get bored. Once I learn how to do something, then I'm ready to move on and learn something else. Call it a character flaw. (I do.)

So this brings me to the coupon hell that I am in. I am sick to death of clipping coupons every Sunday, filing them in my binder, checking the website, making out my list, blah blah. I'm totally bored with it. However, it's also hard for me to resist a great deal. The hell part is that I'm totally over this project, except that I could never bring myself to pay full price for anything in the grocery store (including personal and cleaning items) ever again. $4.19 for a box of cereal, are you freaking kidding me? On average, I pay about $1.25 for a box of cereal, sometimes as low as 50 cents a box, and there's no way I'm going back. I'm addicted to saving 50% or more on my grocery bill every time I go shopping, but I hate having to go through the work of getting there. Hence, I am stuck in coupon hell. I get the good shampoo (Herbal Essence, Sun Silk, Finesse) for the same price that I used to pay for Suave. I buy Lady Speedstick 24/7 for 67 cents apiece. A huge rush is getting stuff for free, which happens more often than you might think. It's really nice that on the weeks that money is tight (usually on the 2nd week of the paycheck), that I can get by with only spending $40 or $50 for groceries for the whole week. And that's for a family of five, folks. I think, on average, I spend $70-$80 a week. There's no way I can walk away from that. Maybe it's just coupon purgatory, as I'll be stuck doing this from now until...forever. I think my tombstone will probably say, "But it was on sale....and I had a coupon!"

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

It's Boyfriend...I Mean, Band Season!

A little background:

Last year, when Danielle started high school, she had never had a boyfriend. We had talked about boys, and I told her that the main thing that was important to me was that a boy be sweet to her. He doesn't need to be the smartest or cutest thing on the block, but you need to have enough respect for yourself to know that you deserve to be treated well. It was a nice talk.

Fast forward to band camp, last year (freshman year.) At the end-of-band-camp party, she meets a very nice boy, also a freshman, a trumpet player and an honors student, that I'll call T. Nothing like hitting the jackpot on your very first pull. T is a really sweet kid. They started going out. We really like this kid a lot. At their three-month anniversary, he gave her a handmade card that made me cry. (I'm 40 years old, and no one has ever given me a card like that!)
They went to homecoming together. (Weren't they cute?) They were still together for the band trip to California. Christmas break, Valentine's day, still together. Then March came...and Danielle decided that T was a little bit boring. They didn't really do anything "fun", and I guess after being tied down for 8 months, she was ready for a little freedom. So after a few weeks of agonizing, she broke up with him. I think he was rather hurt by this, and I don't blame him. Seriously, he is the sweetest boy.

So, softball season started, and Danielle is the pitcher for the freshman team. She starts dating the catcher on the freshman boys' baseball team, J. This lasted about...I don't know, 6 weeks or so. Not very long. She decided that J wasn't all that bright and he was not all that nice (in fact, I'm not sure what happened, but she now refers to him as "the a-hole"), so she broke up with him. Summer came, she had a job, she was bored and lonely. I think it was near the end of the summer that she and T started talking again. Not talking in person, mind you...the communication method of choice amongst teens is texting. That way you don't actually have to, you know, talk to each other. (I swear, I hate texting. Every time someone sends me a text message, I feel my eyes roll clear to the back of my head. But I'll save that for another post.)

Now we fast forward to the present. School is back in, marching band is going full force, and Danielle and T are best buddies, talking again, hanging out in the same group, just having fun. I smell something going on. So this past Monday, while I was at work, T's mom drops him off at our house, under the pretense that he has a birthday present for Kylie. Actually, he did bring Kylie a birthday card and some Hershey bars. However, the real reason for the visit became apparent when he presented Danielle with a single, long-stemmed rose, and a homemade, single layer cake with white frosting that T had apparently made himself. The cake had blue sprinkles and a message: "Will you go to homecoming with me?" This is about where I pass out. He asked her to homecoming with a message on a homemade cake. Has anyone ever done anything that sweet for you? Because for me, no. But seriously, the only thing I can think of is that they'll get back together, then after band is over, she's going to get bored again and break up with him yet again. I don't want her breaking this poor boy's heart again. I asked her when I got home Monday night (and she was still up!):

"Dan, do you remember why you broke up with T in the first place?"

As thoughtfully as a blonde can, she said to me, "Ummm...not really."

"Well, let me refresh your memory. You were bored. His mom wouldn't let him do anything. You wanted to hang out with your friends. Remember?"

"Ummhmmm. Well, Mom, he's more fun now! And he got taller! (Ok, she didn't really say that, but I know she's thinking it.) And before I just thought there was someone better out there, but now I know that there isn't!" (Because she's gone out with all of two people) "He just set the bar really high Mom...I don't know if anyone else can measure up!"

"I'm just afraid that when band is over, you're going to remember why you broke up with him, and the same thing will happen all over again. You don't want his mom putting a hit out on you, do you?"

At this point, we are both laughing, and she's been texting with T and she jokingly sends him a text that says something like "My mom likes you more than she likes me!" Ha ha ha.

I don't know where this will all lead, but I just hope she doesn't break his heart again. I'm not kidding when I say this is like, the nicest, sweetest kid ever. (And he's cute, too!) So Tuesday night, I'm at work, and I get an email from Danielle with a link in it. The link is to the store Forever 21, and she's showing me a dress. The title of the email says "Mom, I just wanted to show you this, but I'm not asking for it!"

Um, yeah. Where is this all leading? Where everything always leads eventually. Straight to my wallet.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Happy Birthday, Baby

Today is Kylie's 5th birthday. I just wanted to give her a shout-out for making it to five, because of the three girls she is the only one that's already been to the ER, had a CAT scan, and had her forehead glued back together. My little daredevil.

We had a low-key day today. We went swimming this morning, and then Kylie got to have her birthday lunch/shopping trip with Mimi (my mom), as is tradition with all the girls' birthdays. Shannon made a cake for her, and she got hot dogs and chips for dinner, as requested.



We got her a Littlest Pet Shop plug and play video game for the TV, which she's basically been playing with most of the day, when she's been home. We didn't do a whole lot today, because Sunday she will be having a party at Toy Town with her friends from school. Here she is with Shannon, making sure you know she's FIVE years old today!

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Off To A Promising Start!


Last night, Steve and I went to the ASU v. San Jose State game. The Dennis Erickson era is off to a promising start, as ASU won 45-3. The team looked good! And the band has new, sparkly uniforms! I am a band geek for pointing this out, Steve informed me. But, since the last time they got new uniforms was my sophomore year in the ASU marching band (20 years ago), I have a right to be excited. We are going to try and get tickets to the ASU v. Colorado game next week. However, herein lies a disturbing problem. I went to (and by went to, I mean graduated from) ASU. Steve went to (and by went to, I mean he took a few classes there) Colorado. He does a good job rooting for ASU though, and this is only the second time ever they have faced Colorado. The first time was last year, and ASU won that one. Let's hope history repeats itself. I totally dared him to wear his Colorado jersey to the game next week. However, if he does, I may have to pretend I don't know him.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Reason #1 I Want To Sell Kylie

The whining...oh God, the whining.

Now, let me preface this with my credentials. I have been a mom for 15 years. This is my third child, and I also have a degree in psychology. (Ok, it's only a B.A., but still) I'm no rookie at this. I know that when a child whines, you do not give in. If you do, the next time they will whine x infinity, in hopes that you will give in again. I know this. My child, it seems, does not grasp that her whining x infinity is not going to get her what she wants.

Today, I decided to give the rest of the family a break and took Kylie to a park with a splashpad. This is reasonable, because we live in the Phoenix area and it's about 183 degrees today. This is a large park, with the splashpad, a playground, a duck pond, train, tennis courts, etc. Today, the park is pretty much deserted, except for the people at the splashpad. Why? Because it's 183 degrees.
So we get to the splashpad, and she starts running around, getting wet. After about a minute and a half, I am hot, and I get wet too. There are about 10 kids running around, and she is having a good time, as evidenced below:





After a while, she decides she wants to play on the playground. The playground is absolutely deserted, due to the fact that touching any of the equipment would give you third-degree burns. I tell Kylie that it's too hot to play on the playground, and there's no one else over there, and wouldn't you rather have fun with the kids in the water? No, she wants to be on the playground. So I lug my stuff over there, and sit in the shade, watching as she walks up the stairs without touching any of the flaming hot railings, and down a tubed slide, which I guess is not so hot, because it's a tube. After about 2 minutes, even though I'm wet, I'm getting hot. Now it's ultimatum time. The conversation goes like this:

Me: "Kylie, it's too hot to play over here. You have a choice. We can either go back and play on the splashpad, or we can go home."

Kylie: "But I want to play over hereeeeeeeeee!"

Me: "I know you do, but I'm really hot, and you need to decide whether we are going to go back to the splashpad, or if we're going home. If you don't decide, I will decide for you."

At this point, she chooses option #3, which is to start the whine-fest (and not the good kind, which would have included a cheese platter)
"But I don't waaaaaaant to go hommmmmeeeeee! I wannnnnnt to plaaaaaaayyyyy!" But she doesn't want to go back to the splashpad either, apparently. (Insert half-crying, and lots more whining here)

Me: Sighs and puts my shoes on. "Come on, we're going home. I'm not going to listen to you whine."

Kylie: More whining and crying as we walk to the car.

Me: Wishes for a nice big margarita

Reason #46 that I am a bad mommy
:

As we get to the car, she folds her arms, puts her little nose in the air and says "Hmph! I'm not talking to you anymore!"

Me: "Promise?"

Me, With A Blog?

You may be wondering why I decided to call my blog "Bad Mommy." It's because on any given day, selling at least one of my children crosses my mind. I have three daughters. Danielle is 15 and a sophomore in high school. Shannon is 12 and has just started hormonal hell...I mean, 7th grade. And the head of the household, Kylie, is 5. Well, as I write this, she will be 5 in two days. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids. I just wish they'd leave me alone sometimes. Especially while I'm at work. I don't mind a phone call at work saying "hi mom, I miss you", or "I love you." What I do mind is someone (Shannon) calling me to tell me that Kylie is being a pain, or that you need to have your practice log signed, or some other mundane crap that could easily be taken care of by your father, who by the way is at HOME, and I am not. And don't call me at work to tell me that Danielle is hogging the computer. Have I mentioned that your dad IS AT HOME?

You know that one mom, the one who is always put together and flawless? She has three or four kids, she is the classroom mom, the softball/baseball team mom, the president of the PTA, is in charge of practically every school event, her husband is the CEO of something or other...and in her spare time, she is a Creative Memories, Pampered Chef, or Mary Kay consultant? Yeah...well, I'm not her. I'm lucky to make it through the day without Xanax, or at least a gallon of Diet Coke. I think I might have some issues. Oh, and yes I do have a husband, his name is Steve, and I'm sure he will make appearances periodically. After all, he is my fourth child.

I suppose I should end this with something mildly amusing. Last night, we were at the first high school football game of the season. Danielle is on color guard (flag line) with the marching band, so we go to all the games. I should mention right here that I LOVE FOOTBALL. No, that's not sarcasm. I think my love of football may be one reason why Steve and I are still together, as he is a fanatic too. Anyway, Kylie always likes to hug the school mascot, which is some girl/cheerleader in a wolf costume. The mascot's name is Scruffy. So last night, she finds Scruffy. Scruffy takes Kylie's hand and starts to walk away with her. Part of me hoped that they would just keep going, because she was being a whiny pain in the butt. Anyway, they walked down the bleachers a bit, but then they came back. She always comes back, like a boomerang. A boomerang that never stops talking. Incidentally, we won the game 50-7. Go Wolves! Tonight, Steve and I are going to the ASU v. San Jose State game. Woohoo!

Disclaimer: There will often be sarcasm used in these posts. I don't always point out the sarcastic statements with arrows around them. No, I don't really wish my 5 year old would go away with a stranger in a wolf costume. Well, not always.