Wasn't That a Great Superbowl? Now Go Home.

Wow, one of the biggest upsets ever in a Superbowl, and a pretty exciting finish, wasn't it? Did you have fun? Did you spend lots of money? Great...now leave. Please. Also, it would be really extra nice if you took your snowbirds elderly relatives bad drivers winter visitors home with you. You all that were here for the Phoenix Open FBR Open, you're leaving too, right? Today? We thank you for your generous donations to our city's economy, we really do. Now don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

I read an article this morning on Yahoo! by a Dan Wetzel from Yahoo! Sports. He felt the need to list all the winners and losers from Superbowl XLII. Giants - winners, Patriots - losers, Eli Manning - winner, Bill Belichick - loser, etc. However, he also included Phoenix as a host city as a loser. Here's what he said:

"LOSER: Phoenix as a host city
It's far too spread out and the downtown lacks life, which means you wouldn't even know the Super Bowl was really happening. The stadium is nice, but it is one of the strangest architectural works you'll see, plopped down in the middle of a suburb that still is a lot of desert. The NFL's decision to stage its fan "NFL Experience" out in a parking lot there didn't help. Oh, and it's not even warm there this time of year."

First: "It's far too spread out and the downtown lacks life, which means you wouldn't even know the Super Bowl was really happening."

It's true that there were many different things going on at the same time, and the metro area is very spread out. But really, you didn't know the Superbowl was happening? I live 35 miles away from the stadium (thankfully), and I surely couldn't miss what was going on. This sounds to me like poor Dan Wetzel didn't get invited to any of the cool hip celebrity parties in downtown Scottsdale, or around the campus of Arizona State in Tempe. Sour grapes, anyone? When he says "the downtown lacks life", if he means downtown Glendale where the stadium actually is, then yeah. But that's not where the action was for most of the week. I guess no one showed him where the hotspots were. Maybe no one wanted to.

Second: "The stadium is nice, but it is one of the strangest architectural works you'll see, plopped down in the middle of a suburb that still is a lot of desert."

Hell yes, the stadium is weird looking. I have no idea what the architects were smoking when they designed it, but it looks a lot like a big silver UFO sitting in the middle of the desert.

So the stadium is strange-looking, but I'm not sure how that makes a bad host city for the game.

Third: "The NFL's decision to stage its fan "NFL Experience" out in a parking lot there didn't help. "

Again, I'm not sure what the city of Phoenix as the host city has to do with this. It was the NFL's decision where to put the NFL Experience, and frankly, right outside of the stadium kind of makes sense to me. Where'd you want them to put it...Flagstaff?

Fourth, and this one is my absolute favorite: "Oh, and it's not even warm there this time of year."

Really. It's not even warm here this time of year. Well, our average high for the month of February is 70 degrees. I don't know of many places where 70 degrees is not considered warm. We happened to have a small stretch of gloriously cool weather during this particular week. Every day leading up to the Superbowl was sunny with highs in the low to mid 60s. I wonder if people from the northeast, like say NY and Boston, would consider that warm? On the day of the Superbowl, it was windy and overcast, probably about 57 degrees. I thought it was beautiful. Apparently it's not the Chamber of Commerce day you were expecting?

Dan, I hate to break this to you, but this is not Hawaii or the Caribbean, where it's 80 degrees every day of the year. Where did you think you were going? Oh, and I know there have been several Superbowls in San Diego. Know what the weather was in San Diego yesterday? 57 degrees with rain.

It's not even warm here this time of year. I can't stop laughing at that. You know what Dan? You're right. Here's the reality of Arizona: It's cold and rainy during the "winter." All the time. That's why we got 2.64 inches of rain all of last year. If, as you claim, it's not even warm this time of year, then why do all these old, retired people flock here in droves from the Great White North to live here from November to April? Certainly it can't be the $300 greens fees.

Oh, and more reality...it's so hot in the summer that the sun will melt your skin right off, like Anakin Skywalker in Revenge of the Sith. Also, it's just desert here...we ride horses and tumbleweeds blow across I-17. There's absolutely nothing to do here. So when you go home, tell everyone you know that it's horribly cold here in the winter *giggle*, and blistering hot in the summer. Also, tell them that the people here are rude and obnoxious, there's nothing to do, and that they would never, ever, ever want to move here. Oh, and if you could convince all the people that have moved here in the last 10 years to go back to where they came from? That would be awesome too.

Here are a few statistics for you:

Arizona last hosted the Superbowl in 1996, when the Cardinals were still playing at Sun Devil Stadium, which is a lovely college facility, if a bit old and outdated.

Since 1996, there's been a slight change in the population. I did a bit of Googling, and here's what I found:

In 1998, the Phoenix metro area held 2,931,004 people. By 2006, the last year I could find stats for, the population of the metro area had risen to 4,039,182. Don't worry, I'll do the math for you. That means that in 8 years, 1,108,178 people have moved here. Over 1.1 million people. In 8 years. Why? Damned if I know. But if a day on national television of 57 degrees and skies threatening rain make even one less person want to move here, it was totally worth it.

It's not even warm here this time of year. Well, except for the fact that next weekend, it's supposed to be near 80 degrees. You should come back then. Well, on second thought...please don't come back. Ever.