Fear and Loathing at the DMV

Just a little tribute to one of my favorite writers there. Hey Hunter, how are things in the afterlife? I'm afraid I might be joining you soon. I hope not, but let me explain.

You see, there was a bit of loathing today at the DMV, just because it's the DMV. Actually, it wasn't all that bad, except for the screaming babies and toddlers running all over the place. Even that's not so bad, because I have one of those kids too, so I understand. I left her at home though. (Uh, with Shannon...not by herself. Just thought I'd clarify that.) We were in and out of there in about an hour, which is a reasonable amount of time. I've had much worse experiences at the DMV.

No, The Fear comes when you realize that your 15 year-old daughter can now legally operate a motor vehicle. MY motor vehicle. Provided a licensed driver is sitting beside her, of course. I fear think that more often than not, I will be that licensed driver. I have already let her drive on residential streets around our neighborhood, but never on a main road.

But today, we left the DMV and went to the grocery store to get Christmas cookie supplies. Then I let her drive from the grocery store to our house, which involved a main road. And when I say main road, I'm not talking about a main road that cows occasionally cross. I'm talking about the 5th largest metro area in the country, four days before Christmas. Let's just say there's a lot of traffic.

And now, in exactly five minutes, we're supposed to pick up her friend down the street, and I'm taking them both to the mall. Except that she wants to drive on the way there, because her friend is all excited that Danni has her permit, and she "wants to see me drive!" I'm thinking about back roads we can take to the mall. There are some, but there will be no avoiding a busy intersection or two.

I realize that the only way to learn to drive it just to do it. I did it, my brother did it, we all did it...most of us with a parent sitting next to us. How do people do this without having a coronary episode?

Well, I'm off to the mall...please pray for me.